long time since i blogged here..
mm... tumblr really very easy to use...
hahhz...
mm... ok... was down at settlers studing and playing bridge again..
heex... only diff is that yest i thought of neth and today he came down to find timo...
whoots...
like that also can see him.. .hahahz...
mm... studied econs a little while and felt super demoralised studying it...
haix...
tmr gonna bring my SG to school liao...

whoa... i'm using tumblr now..
cos tumblr can link to fb directly..
ahhahz... (=
anyways... like wad GC said.. he's a mj addict... i think i am too...
hahaz... been playing...
mm... study study study!!!!
hahaz.... but i'm in love with POA too...

mm.... i'm not sure if this is the correct way to do...
but since i've done it... shall cherish everything ba...
mm....

pammy!!!
thanks (= mmm.... i cant wait for you to come back... with the rest... to have the next gathering.. (=
mr smith i s not replying my sms... so i'm not exactly sure if he received or not...
hahaz...

mm...ok...
i'm left with not many days to exams...
jia you!!! (=
to everyone who's in the same boat as me... jia you also ba...
i better buck up on my maths and stats since i've made the wager with sze han...
(= 91 and above... here i come... (=

cherishing the moment now...
it may be the last few times i hug you or smile at you...
wadever you promised me, dun break it yea??? (=
life is at the down turn now..
its too steep to ever pull back up..
been unhappy with things that's happening around work...
kept mum abt it...
until yest i really cannot tahan...
said everything out.. and left the place...
timo said its time to take a break... until everything's ok...
so.. next week is my last week...
my 2nd home is crushed...
time to look for a new one... (=

whoot... yest initially no mood to work... but yea.. in order to prove that i dun bring my emotions to work, i've decided to work... even though i was given an option...
ahahz... ok... glad that i worked ba...
was pretty funn how julian ask such weird question...
(=
but dude, you're really funny.
mmm... ok.. guo chuan and yuhua came too...
cos smsed tham abt mj-ing.. (=
guo chuan damn onz la..
cool cool.. play with him also not so stress...
but yuhua cant play... so yea.. in the end timo stayed to play...
mm... but nice yuhua bought curry rice for timo...
and curry rice brought timo luck...
eastern wind, he diao for damn long...
hahz... was really stressed... gave a little temper...
psps... we played for like 3hours plus near 4 just for 1 round.... imagine how long it is...
hahaz...
mm... ok... so nice guo chuan sent us home...
and nice timo ask me to give him add so that he can check gps and let me sleep... (=
thanks guys... but yea... guo chuan made a huge round... in the end dint know where we were... heng ah... i remmebered that road... (=
mm...ok... left for home...
not wanting to sms him whether i've reached home or not...
then Q&A a little... and then dunno wad ahppened, stopped...
mm... then was also smsing baobei...
mmmm.... yea.. i was study mj tiles... hahahz... but i got study la... 2 pages considered right??
mm... will buck up anyway...
gromps...
fb seems so boring now... also dunno wad to do with it...
haix.. need to find a better entertainment...
(=
playing i should start exercising...
time to train up le....
wheez....
2 and a half days left...

whoa... looks like long time no one has disturbed my tag board...
name: you're welcome yea?? (= say for all you like...
cos i dun really give a damn..
and you think you really know me?
hahaz...

mm....
caught up with my naruto and bleach...
only to get scolded by mum...
cos i haven been studying...
first question she asked...
when's your exam...
argh!!!!
a few days times??
heex...
okok... its time to buck up seriously...
get all the crap outta my head.. and install a device to absorb notes in teh shortest period of time...
hahahz... (=

anyway... i'm so glad exam's nearer... means during that period of time, i got a few options of where to stay except home!!!! (=

hahahz... juvenile delinquent...
hahahz.. whee!!!! (=

VIVIAN!!!!
your life time bubbletea is on me!!!! (=

woah... so i've seen someone did something to their tweeter..
hahaz...
seriosuly... many coincidence put tgt wll make pple misunderstand deeper..
from a certain pov... you're like the 3rd party in this r/s..
but then again... i cant blame you cos he's the one who made all these happen, and cos i dun tolerate nonsence, he's gonna be out of my life..
partially cos of you...
i can only say you're good at distorting facts. wanting to come help but cos of wad you said cause greater probs..
now... its finally over...
he's given up...
i'm glad...
guess now.. its time to buck up on studies...
last few days... can i make it???
guess even if i cant... i have to do my best...
my mood hasnt been good...
dun agitate me...
whoever you are... or else you wun have anything good in return..
cos karma exist..

i thought maybe there was a chance to trsut you again..
asked for your fone..
only to find out that you deleted their smses...
if you aint hiding something from me... why would you delete their smses, being afraid that one day i might ask to see???
doesnt it show that you're being guilty of something?
anyway... you asked me if i was angry with you..
search your heart and put yourself in my shoes...
will you be angry if i did that??
confessing to someone and then saying it was infatuation...
but ultimately deleted all your smses with her...
f la...
i really thought i could at least trust you again..
and once again, you disappointed me..
but then it proved to me something...
that you aint sincere abt me at all..
whereas, spending the time with boon really made me much happier...
somehow reminds me of the past..
maybe at the end of the day, he's the guy for me...
i knew i could trust him and cast myself to him..
cos no matter wad happened, he's there for me..
he leartn from his mistake and that made me touched....
he dint say it, but he proved to me..
finally i slept on his shoulders on the way home...
and i teared.. w/o him noticing...
i felt that there's still someone by me... besides you hurting me once and again...
thanks boon...

baobei... not that you aint by me... but its just a diff feeling...
a feeling where you can see and cannot talk, can only sms de... feels really diff from someone who really knows me inside out.. and who doesnt mind my monsterous and murderous attacks...
not that i'm a monster... but i'm the meanest person to him in my and his life...
maybe thats why after so long, there's still the chemistry...

if there's ever a chance, i really wanna ask if we can start all over again..
i'm still the wild gal you know... but the wild gal has too many setbacks that she wanna be tamed down... =(

next post it to you...
you know who i'm talking to...
not that i choose to hurt you..
but think before you wanna rebutt..
were you the one who hurt me first? and now i'm here to bite you back?
were you the one who abandoned me not once, not twice but a few times??
i'll be honest with you here..
that night when you left, i cried my way home..
that night when we broke.. i made a vow to god..
i'll tell you wads the vow later.. but all these aint valid anymore..
cos you've broken my heart totally..
i know there are some things you've been hiding from me...
sensed it since you changed your phone..
my senses aint hardly wrong...
for me to sense this so greatly... i wun wanna guess...
but now... cos of you. you've caused me to lose someone i care for as well..
everything has a price to pay... it applies to both you and me..

wanna know the vow?
i made a vow that if you can win my heart all over again...
i'll love you with my heart and soul..
cos i know who i love from the start.. jsut that over and over again you disappointed me..
i'm not afraid to let brian see this.. cos i know he accepts me for who i am..
he will understand everything that has happened..

as for you... if you wanna ask why i dint think of how you feel...
it was wrong to even begin with you when i haven sorted out my feelings...
i'm really sorry abt that..
when we were tgt... i really thought you're the guy i can be faithful to just like how i was with my first...
until the 1st month... thats when things became compicated...
from a 3 person to a multiple pple...
in between there are many other things... but over and over again... you've hurt me... how much tissues i've wasted cosof crying???
is this really love?
is love that painful that it makes pple cry throughout the relationship?
there are things i can tolerate...
there's a limit to it...
as much as i really wanna tolerate, you've crossed the line..
and i know you wanna know wad that line is..
i wan a relationship that is truthful... as much as i haven been, you haven been truthful..
i wan a relationship that is clean... as much as it was, it wasnt..
i hope my guy will love me, yes it is..
but you aint as faithful as i thought of you to be...
thats the fatal point of our relationship... i haven been faithful and you too..
i think of brian, thought i can get over... but i dint..
and i end of caring for someone else cept you...
you on the other hand aint giving me securities...
you know, in school beside my og mates and your og mates, i haven mixed with my friends anymore cos of you...
and you on the other hand has so many other gal- friends to say hi to...
there's a jealousy in me... wad i dint say out..
but wad happens when you got too engross chatting with them... you end up not knowing my existence when i wanted to show you something..
you've got too many lady friends that i never known which gal you might had feelings for...

i know you were outside my house..
i know you wrote me something.. but you know wad...
i refuse to open my door for you..
and next thing i know... you've left..

i've messed things up...
i've hurt someone really impt to me..
i've caused her to cry...
i'm sorry...
i thought that would be a better choice for all of us, esp you..
thought by doing so, i'll not make you suffer all the shit..
but i guess i'm wrong..
dun become another person... i really dint mean for that...
i dint make use of you... not at all..
but through you... i finally know wads love..
love is something that should never be trusted..
even if someone tells you he/ she loves you... deep down there's a percentage of lie..
i've finally understood it.. and now there's a price for understanding it..
i'm paying for the price.. to free you. to free him and to free her altogether..
is it wrong?
maybe it is... but its my way of apologising to all for messing up all your lives cos i've messed up mine..
now that the path is clear..
i should return to where i orginally belong..
i belonged to none of you... but i do care of how you feel..
i belonged to someone you all dunno, cept for him...
rightfully belonged to him...
and since now i've patched with him... its time to move on... and be free from my mess...
i'm sorry..
esp to you..
dun wan you to cry anymore...

some things have been quite crazy these few days...
r/s issues...
hahaz... wonder why a guy can be jealous of another gal...
haix...
ohwells.. i made baobei kinda angry yest... but thankfully she's fine after venting her anger out... (=
mmm... and yea.. had superb steamboat with settlers peeps at chong qing... (= craved for so damn long... finally get to eat... whee!!!! after eveyone left, mx and i went for desserts... whoots... so godly... if got chance must bring my mummy go there eat the sesame paste.... heex...

today supposed to go for pbf... but no mood to go... so decided to laze longer on my bed...
miss my bed so much... even though i sleep on it almost everynight.. (= but yea... going out soon le... (= feel like going to arcade lei... should i???

mm... the day before... wanted to go out with mx to settlers... but my house had a warps.. oooo...
when i saw it, i ran to the kitchen to hide immediately...
lucky mx came and chase it out of my house, without hurting anyone... (=

mmm.... dunno wad to do or react... but thankfully things between me and baobei is cleared.... (=

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