ok... finally out with my friends after a long long time...
(=
though i really dun wanna play lfd... ahahz...
hmm... ok.. just ended my first game... hahaz... (=
head's spinning great.... but still coping...
thanks guys... (=
for not forgetting me.. .(=

why is it that you know you had to do something yet you aint doing..
you know i hate this place so much, yet you're not doing anything..
even if just by bringing me out of this ghosty place... i'll prob be happier..
but instead of doing all these...
you say me on sms..
you really can add salt on pple's wound..
why are you always making me upset and disappointed with you?
if you really wan me to leave that much, why dun you just tell me straight?
haix

i guess this time its really the end ba...
i'm sick of repeating everything again..
so yea...
march 20th, its officially the end le ba...
thats thanks to you for throwing behind to go home myself in the wee night..
put the blame on your migrain, it doesnt matter le...
cos YOUR MIGRAIN is more IMPORTANT than MY SAFETY.
you said everything is about me and myself... nothing to do with US,
i think you should go think back about who's the one saying " me and myself" and never include an US in it..
so if our relationship is based on wad you said.. wad for chase me back?
wad for say you care when in face you dint care.
brian reminded me to sms him when i reach home.. did you??
plus... xiao ping jie asked if you called me to try explain.. did you??
you said you asked me if i wanan go back 3 times?? i only heard once...
you expect me to understand how you're feeling and chase after you.
you expect me to be able to see you're not feeling good.
you expect me to see your veins.
HELLO!!!
you jolly well know i'm not someone who will be able to do all these...
usually you dun expect me to see all these, and yet you're telling me you're expecting me to do so now..
if you knew you couldnt take it, why the hell did you take over yiwei's shift?
helping someone else to the extend of your health, if its worth it... then you shouldnt even complain.
you made me damn fing disappointed..
i could have gone out with brian the whole day.
i smsed you saying when i'm done i'll find you... i wanted to ask you go ah ma's house tgt..
but in the end... this is wad i get..
have you gotten any idea how upset i was when i was walking to somerset alone??
did you know that i only listened to one song throughout my journey home and cried while walking?
now i know, wad you claimed before are all lies..
you dint give a damn about me..
let alone say you really loved me..
if i had known... i wouldnt have chosen you again back then..
i should have seen all these earlier... at least now i'll still be human...
i dun think anything is gonna be the same again..
now... you prob find me irking.. you prob hate me as much as i hate you...

love and hate is jsut a thin line across. i never knew i could hate someone that much, yet at the same time felt sad about it.
i never knew.

i had a scary nightmare...
dreamt of a terrible tsunami in sg..
from east to west side..
the current of wave is 2 times taller then the buildings..
when it came... all the east siders were drown... flowing at a lesser current towards the west side...
in my dream. the thing happened on a mon...
i was stun when i saw it coming...
i was running uphill in a park-like.. only to find myself higher than the waters when it approaches me.. then at that moment i was worried.. cos my mum's working in changi...
i was scared...
followed a monk when he said there's a 7-storey building that wun meet the waves...
i followed him... at night... called my mum... only t find out she dint go work that day...
phew...

i'm really scared. that this dream will come true...
how???? maybe i should approach timo for help this time...
haix...

whoa... spent the night at neth's house with joyce and isaiah... hahahz..
mm... wells... guess my shi san yao's lucky aint that good..
though played like 5 rounds. and losing 45 is considered small... i'm quite sad...
cos i'm the only one who lost to everyone..
mm... looks like i need to go for more training with xp jie..
hahahz..
hmm.. but yea... joyce said that it was quite obvious that i haven really gotten over him..
hahz... true true..
i guess i was just really happy..
afterall he's someone i used to devote my heart to.
and yea... natually i was smiling the night through even though i lost..
as usual... he's always bullying me..hahaz..
ok... i must say joyce is really a mj queen... and yea...
i dunno why but i just simply like the kakis yest..
ahhaz... talk about how i was lost at punggol int.. got up the wrong escalator and hence the wrong exit..
lost a while at the entrance before smsing isaiah, and yea... kena laughed at cos i had to cross the road in the end.. hahaz.
oh... i forgot something...
BITCH!!!! THANKS FOR YOUR BDAE PRESENT... OWE YOU 2... one's at home and one will be flying back from bkk.. (=

sometimes i did think back at the past... if we had loved each other than... now we'll prob be tgt for a year.. hahaz.. but too bad there's no chemistry ba...

i made a decision to have a cool off again...
dunno wad i really wan...
i'm confused...
prob will just listen to joyce and use the thailand break to sort everything out..
why am i stuck in all these situation??
why must there appear 2 pple who treats me the same??
argh!!!!

ok... after the emo posts..
here come a new piece of news..
on mon... i won mj at mx's house..
whoots...
all started with the shi sao yao..
hahz.. (=
awesome..
the entire night was filled with anxiety and stressness..
hahaz..
mm... ok...
after everything that had happened..
it only gave a conclusion that i will never consider him anymore..
after all that he has done to indirectly made me upset to the max..
cant say i'm totally happy... cos i'm not..
in fact i'm upset... but i'm moving on..
maybe i cant totally but i know i'm trying to move on..
wadever you had said... remember i need the evidence..
but even so i'm still obliged to stay where i am...

this super moody mood is affecting my studies greatly...
i've got PBF test tmr and i haven even started studying for it...
argh!!!!! wads wrong with me???
why am i thinking so much??
afterall, i'm not important to a particular person anymore..
haix..

but think on the bright side, i still have something to be happy about..
at least belle received my bear..
and she's really happy receiving it.. (=
its the dunno how many year since i've chatted with her so happily.
somehow i kinda miss her.
the times we spent in school. and times when we dun get to meet but contact so often..
really miss those days.
just wish when she comes back, we can go out tgt.. (=

suddenly i realised..
i'm no longer the most impt person in your life. even though you claimed it to be.
cos in your life, you already have a dear..
someone that you miss her smile more than wad you said you liked mine.
someone who texted you more than wad i do now.
somehow... i dunno why.. all her emails are gone from your inbox..
is it you deleted it cos you're afraid i'll read?
or is it you have another email just for her?
i dunno...
but dunno why.. i dun feel easy about this even though i'm just your friend now..
oh wells... since i've already made my decision... i really should move on and not hurt more pple..

today mood was bad..
my plant died..
and maybe cos i'm affected by nic's result..
but i'm happy for him..
ABC.. awesome..
(=
i'm proud of you boy..

if time can turn back again..
i only wanna meet one of them.. then i wun be that sad now..
even if i'm really sad now... things cant revert back anymore.. perhaps i've missed my half apple..
but at least i'm being loved now too.. and if i dint cherish my past... now i should cherish my present..

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