blog has been quite emo lately...
sorry to all who reads it...
but yea...
my heart's telling me one thing and my mind another...
and if i were to follow my heart, i will hurt bby...
if i were to follow my mind, i will hurt tooty..
haix...
but at least i'm clear of where i wanna steer myself towards..
i hope whoever's hurt will forgive me...
memories are always memories...
thanks for giving me such memories that no one can replace...
because its left deep in me, i will always tear upon them.
if time were to return, i will definitely treasure you more..
but too bad things cant go back in time..
therefore i should say, you yuan wu fen...
maybe in the future if we still had feeligns for each other still and you're still available and if i'm also available, fate might bring us back tgt again...
but from now till then, no one knows of wads gonna happen...
so wadever the thing is, be happy always..
you're still my good/ close friend..
it may hurt, but i know soon you'll be ok...

life has been really up and down...

guessed i had a nervous breakdown today...
completely couldnt control myself from tearing...
it was my fault at work...
i accepted it... but i dunno why i just teared...
i'm soooooo sorry...
things haven really gone too fine...
but things are not getting out of hand too...
its just me and my damn emotions...
haix...
(= but i'm really glad i can talk things out with bby...
and at least be frank with him...
thanks bby...
i know you will read the post de... hahahz..
but stilll.... thanks for staying by me and being such a loving bf...
i'm fortunate...
i know i am... even without the rest telling me how fortunate i am...
(=
but yea...
i'm still a weird gal.. and it doesnt change the fact that you fell in love with a weird gal...
(=

i was really upset...
its kinda the first time i celebrated our 1st month anni that sadly b4...
or rather first time i cried with a negative heart at 10.10pm
i really wanted to take a neocard...
maybe i'm just not used to it ba...
it has always been the case that i get to choose wad i wanna do on the anniversary month..
and wadever i wanna do, it will be granted...
but not this time...
cant take neocard cos you werent in the mood... which wasnt the actual reason...
cant play mj cos you dint feel like it...
i know you were afraid that i wasnt well enough...
but still... i was still upset...
i never intended to cover my emotions... cosi wun do that...
but even if i'm upset... wad can i do???
i'm not supposed to compare... its not even fair to do so...
and i promised myself never to bring him up in front of you... cos everytime i do so.. i could see your frown...
it really made me think...
its only the first month yet things are alreayd like that...
will things get better? or will it get worse??
are we really happy tgt? or you're just trying so hard to be better than him, such that you aint happy anymore?
maybe i really should sort my emotions out properly... before i really decide on anything?
is that a better option? at least i wun make you so upset..

screwed up many things...
thought back of the past...
only to find out how fortunate i really was back then...
but its all too late le.. i've chose to give it up...
so now wad i can do is to move on bravely... keep the past as memories...
and treasure my present..
anyway... today's really a weak day for me...
bby had to pei me and look after me throughout the whole day...
knew he had to go jurong point to meet his friend to study..
but in the end... he dint go cos of me...
haix... sorry...
sometimes i really think too negatively... but at times i really cant help it...
maybe its the insecurity ba...
but we all know how much we treat/love each other...
cried on sat night and whole of yest...
suck but i cant help it...
whenever i think about it... i cry... think of something else... i cry...
wadever i do, i tear...
argh!!!!! =(

wad will life be without you??
i dare not think about it..

singapore's really small...
but i'm glad i went cathy... even if its just to withdraw $$
met languan and his friends...
seems like he's really happy with life...
good good... (=
mm.... many many things have been happening...
now i'm just really worried that my spine will just get worse...
spine bone has been straining much recently...
so painful until that day went to see a sensei... hopefullly the sensei can treat me...
but sad to say... i think now it got worse...
i'm really scared that one day i'll become a handicap...
maybe that's why i've been frowning more lately...

i'm really afradi of loving you that much...
scared that the more i love you, the sadder i will feel when i see you frown or your emotionless face..
been restricting myself alot...
sometimes its tiring... i'm still trying hard...

Pls do not remove this section.

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