shall post on wad happened to sat..
sat, 21st March was the 72/08 commisioning parade...
salute to all the graduating officers on that...
so dear and his course mates were one of the commissioning batch (=
went for the parade and yea... captured alot of pics.. (=

guys, if you guys wanna take alot at the pics... checkout from my facebook
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/photos.php?id=773530533

mm... ok.. i finally could take a deep breath n enjoy my weekends more..(=
yest was my piano exam... phew.. i went in feeling nervous.. played scales n sight reading terribly... oral wasnt that fantasic.. but it wasnt that badtoo.. hahaz.. i was rather impressed at how i played my pieces anw..
when it was time to play my piece.. i was thrilled... hazh.. so was amazed at how i really managed to control the way i play for my first piece...
then during the second piece... i was so into it... but my book fell so i turned to the wrong page and tried turning back.. (=
so my examiner asked me to replay... and i replayed.. (= without any probs..
then when it was the 3rd piece... i was like free!!!
hahz... my fingerings were all wrong... but somehow managed to play the mood i had out... (=
mum and dear pei me down to kovan early in the morning at 9am... (= so pract until 1030 then went ot the exam room outside to prepare... (=
after my exam... went to kimage to find mummy... she went to dye her hair.. (=
mm.. then we went to imm to change my monitor..
had a lil fight with the salesman there...
but in the end managed to change my monitor.. (=
then went for pepper lunch!!! (= whoots... was yummy...
hahz.. after that went to lot one to meet nick for bball... then we went to dear's house to change and get the ball...
but weather abit suay...
rained.. and i had sweat rash...
damn sian.. (=
mm... so when the rain was getting heavier.. we rushed back to dear's house.. to bathe and clear up... (=
mm... so slack around dear's hosue until the evening came... then went to lot one to catch race to witch mountain...
wahhh... the movie was nice... (=
ratings: 3.5 out of 5 stars..
ahzh...
that was for yest...
had a busy week... shall slowly post backwards..

so fri i had a bad nightmare... i dreamt that my grandma passed away..
but i dunno which grandma...
and dream of shit too...
wth will he be there anw...
hahz.. mm.. ok
sat was dear's commissioning parade.. hahz.. took alot alot of pics... (=
i just the shots of the rainbow... though haven uupload.. but they're just too pretty...
mm.. and yest was a total waste of my time to go down expo...
cos adidas sale was totally empty...
all either too ugly and too big for me...
dun have my sling bag too...
hahz.. mm... so we walked until hall 4... saw robinson sale..
went in to shop lo..
azh.. bought like 2 sets of bball jersey for cedric... dear's stuffs and my stuffs...
and dear was soooo nice... he bought me my bangle watch... like after so many months of eyeing...
used to just eyed on them... and admire the prettiness of the odm watches... cos they are too ex for me to buy...
but yest we saw a pretty odm bangle watch.. and the price is like 3-4 times cheaper then usual price??? so dear decided to buy for me...
felt bad la... cos my current one which he bought also haven spoil.. hahz.. (=
dear also bought 1 set of jersey...
ahzh..
mm...ok.. so after shopping at expo... we went to tampines mall to meet uncle law for dinner...
ahzh..
settled at cafe cartel...
hazh.. (= the honey ribs is perfect!!! loved it alot...
hazh.. and yea... uncle loves their bread.. cos its really nice and soft..
ahzh... after dinner was rather late... so we headed to interchange to go home..
initially wanted to take 969... but journey quite long..
so called kenneth since he's so familiar with the place there..
and he was like SHOCKED to hear i'm at tam mall..
hahz...
ok... then he taught us the faster way to get to woodlands...
hahz.. so we went out to find that bus stop.. (=
lucky... after taking mrt back to cck.. dear and i managed to catch the last bus..
heex.. (=
today is my finaly piano lesson..
and i'm on leave cos of practice.. (=
should make full use of the day man..
ahhz.. hopefully ms helena will have positive feedback about my playing...
i really wanna pass badly... (= at least i can burn somehting for ms chen to see.. (=

it was a bottomless pit... i knew it yet i still jump into it...
now that i'm hurt... i have no one to blame but myself..
cos i knew it yet i still wanna jump...
how dumb can i be??
days will get better but will i still be that happy?
i really dunno...
i've decided to give it a last shot and hope for the best..
but i know this decision made has brought unfairness to all of us.

actually... pear regretted...
sorry starfish...
if its still my call... i rather not wanna forget you...
i rather still continue smsing you...
at least i can still hear from you...
stupid stupid...
i saw you online yest... but offline as soon as i'm online...
the sudden coldness is unbearable...
it hurts... really hurts..
from the day of our agreement... it alr hurts alot...
haix...
will cheer up soon and yea... we're still good friends yea? (=

yest was a scary day...
hazh...
mm... was deciding whether i should take my off in lieu the day before...
but since i had super hangover... i couldnt wake up... thought i smsed sudhir telling him i'm not coming... but it turned out that i dint sms la...
so there was a big hooha from her la...
but yea... so called sudhir to find out wad happened...
apprently its cos of lunch...
haix... waste my sms onli lo..
wells... learnt my lesson... wadever i need to do.. i have to update her... not anyone else but her...
mm... ok... so i only officially woke up at 1+pm...
so washed up and ate cup noodles for lunch... hahz.. its long since i eat that... (=
so after lunched... played piano until 4pm...
den went for piano lesson...
ms helena gave me a mock exam..
wahhh... was pretty scary...
she practically tested me on all the scales component...
and phew... thankfully i did it...
except for a point when she tested me keys not from the book... even she also dint know...
ahzh... until she asked me to look from the book...
then she realised that i dint have to learnt that key...
(=
mm... i was more confident for my pieces... at least i know i can play better with my emotions indulged in it...
but according to her... i might fail my A and B piece...
cos of the breaks and break downs i made...
a crude words saying as long as there's 2-3 sec of silence.. i will fail the piece...
but ms helena was pleased with my C piece... i was please too... (= i somehow managed to play as if the lead in the piece is all about me...
hmm... thats for piano...
so next wed is my piano exam... will be having lessons this sun, mon and wed morning...
nervous... scared... but i have to overcome...
oh.. i dint mentioned that i'm gonna wear my heels for exam like wad i wore for talento right???
so i actually wore it for mock yest... it really feels diff... so the next few days... need to pract with my heels... (=
mm... after piano... went home... da bao some food back... eat.. watched tv... then at 9+ i went to woodlands to take a bus down to changi airport...
promised to send darren off... jon was supposed to be there... but apparently he MIAed...
mm.. ok... thought i was gonna be late... and will miss darren... hazh...
but thankfully he was still there...
mm.. os saw his mum and grandma...
and saw alvin too...
alvin was shock that i know darren and darren was shock that i know alvin too... and apparently they dint know they were both from PJC...
hazh... (=
mm... ok.. so chat with darren and aunty until aunty went home...
mm.... this guy haven even apply for uni sia... and he's like only returning 1 day b4 application close...
ok... so his platoon mates all saw him and me la... and stupidly thought i was his gf...
so darren remarked..." wait until they know your(me) bf is an officer"
hahz... thats funny la...
we were talking about our tioman trip too... heard from him that pam and kari cancelled it cos of $$... so darren was thinking that the 3 guys chip in for the gal's trip... hopefully we can get to go as a group... (= his mum was also saying that we should go man... cos its kinda hard for jc friends to meet up and enjoy the trip tgt... which is really true la...
mm.. so accompany him until 1230am+ near 1245am... then mum came... so bought fries home and yea... left changi...
wells... so afterall i'm the only one from xo team that sent darren off la...
one friend send better than no one send... hahz. (=
anw... ya. i was really tired... managed to pull myself and open my eyes at airport...
thanks to someone for accompanying me, and forgoeing his extra hrs of sleep... (=

soo... too many things have happened... and i was too sad to blog about the happy ones...
shall be nice and blog them now...
(=
Sun was the last day of IT fair... so went down to be part of the crowd... (= and take a look and see if there's anythign i can get for myself...
mm... so in the morning met ah ma and family for breakfast... (=
after which went for the IT fair...
ah ma dint wanna go up...
so me, dear, ben, shirley, kor adrian, elsie and ah jiong went up...
ahzh... it was hard to stay as a group...
and reception there was poor... but thankgoodness we managed to...
mm... darren was at IT fair too... so met up with him a while... he wanted to get a psp and GPS...
but sadly he dint managed to get any... (=
mm... ok... so wanted to buy cd and cooler... but dint managed to get any...
only managed to spend 46 buck on dear's psp 8gb memory duo stick.
mm.... ok... after that, kinda walked around until 3pm... then went to swissotel for high tea...
hazh...cos high tea only opened at 330pm.. so we kinda rotted below swissotel and camwhore..
when high tea started... we kinda tried all the food possible..
Equinox arent really fantastic... even the view also...
apparently cos the clouds are lower than 70th floor... hence can hardly see the view...
so basically the view is like photos you take at genting..
mm.... kinda took a few pics...
shall post in on fb when i have the time at home...
we took a group pic too... (= hahz...

ok... the weekends has past,..
days are getting more and more boring...
freedom seems lesser too...
i mentioned in fb that things are changing... and my rls are that smooth right??
something is lacking... i realli dunno wad...
there's love, there's feeling, there's chemistry..
maybe it's the depth of love?
i just feel that the love is just stagnant, not improving...
plus with more restrictions, its becoming a burden...
maybe i'm jsut being selfish.. i need more space and freedom...
realli dunno... i dun wanna make myself feel as if i've not married to him yet being tied down alr...
i wan the space to contact my friends and go out late in the wee night with them...
i need the space to go dinner with anyone, not just my bf...
i need the space for myself... and not 24/7 on standby for him...
doesnt mean he can book out means i have to see him.. meet him.. or even when he say he wan stay my house means i have to let him...
i just feel that things are getting out of hand now... since the day i allowed him to stay almost everyday...
its suffocating.. i cant breathe...
i've talked it out with him...
but since then.. he has been showing me that face...
am i not allowed to voice my thoughts??? must i only give in to you just cos you show me that face???? it may not be a direct emotional blackmail... but just cos you showed me that face... i had to force myself to give in to you...
i will sms you still... but i really dun wish to sms much... i know you're having a hard time in camp... but that doesnt mean your life revolves around me only...
i have my life and my circle of friends...
and my friends, as you know, are mostly guys..
i really hope you understand...
i dun wish to cos of you, lose all my friends... i've lost and not keep in touch with most becos of you...
its not that i dun wanna bring you along... but think abt this... i've not met them for 3 years???? cant i meet up with them for dinner.. and catch up.. .the next time.. i'll try bring you along???
i cant possibly bring you to all my gatherings.. .cos you said b4 that you feel out of place...
and cos you're there.. i have to keep you company instead of catching up..
i'm tired... really tired...
we've not break... but i feel as though this time i might just fall apart anytime soon...
i know you're gonna change... i also wanna find out wads lacking...
work tgt with me to find out k...
my weekends are still for you... but weekdays let me have it...
i dun wan u too sticky to me... and dun be too sensitive too...
dun try to find out who i sms or who sms me... cos i never really care of who sms you... be fair to me...
just be fair to me...
from day one you knew wad kinda gal i am...
but you're making me into another gal now.. which i'm totally not confortable... with it and with myself...
jsut wanna be back the carefree me... back into MI days.. when i was really carefree, even though i had a bf.. at least i still felt as though i was myself... there were spaces of freedom.
i could still hang out with friends... but now... its only XO team i could hang out with... cos you're in this clique too...
shant continue... i dun wanna be tearing in the office...

ooo.. so singapore entertainment awards is finally over...
finally i can relax a little...
hahz... i haven said to anyone of how much i had been planning for that night right???
months ahead... with preparation of manpower list, slides, handouts, deployment, water, food.
then on site briefing.. barricades...
phew... thankfully we had IC briefing one day before the event... cos on event day.. i really ahd no time for usher's briefing...
and the rain... came at a wrong time... plus pple vomitted..
so as a first aider, had to help the gal. then had to run off to do other stuffs... so passed it over to sudhir...
this event... i'm really glad to have sudhir helping.... i maybe running around like some mad gal... answering to the many pple who com-ed me at the same time...
wanna know how busy i was...
try running up and down the whole marina platform a few rounds? and at the same time listening to countless pple com-ing at the same time through out the event. and at the same time answering everybody while still getting more com-ing.
try running back and forth to get more tags for the both entry.. while running up to the platform to settle walkies..
alot of running...
so much that everytime i have to break the barricade, the security team open for me until they recognise me and even became friends...
hazh.. (= thats how much i've to go thru them, for them to open the barricades for me.
of course... for the sacrifices, there were compliments...
i was happy... but sad too...
cos thru out the event, dear was around to watch the event, but not around for me to see...
and worse still.. he came all the way from camp to see me, even though he's not well...
after the event ended.. i couldnt leave yet.. he waited for me patiently at the bus stop.. until mummy and cedric went to find him...
but i was not ready to leave yet.. until 12 + 1am..
i guess i was too dehydrated until i couldnt eat anything... cos the gum up was too painful... i could only drink water or any other drink...
so mummy asked me eat cucumber instead... (=
thanks mum...
poor cedric... tired the whole day... in the end he fell asleep while waitign for me to come out...
sorry di...
(= so after i came out... having aches and burns, i was like limping liao. finally took cab home.. sent cedric first then go home.. (= dear wanted to accompany me and mum home.. at the same time see my new fone.. hahz...
and since my feet was soring pain.. dear helped me massage... also let the foot massager massge my feet... wahh... it was like numb until it became so ticklish... couldnt take it...
ahzh.. (= started laughing and crying..
wells. i dint state before that at times i just cant stop my tears right??? even if i'm iniatially sad until i smiled... i'll still be tearing..
hazh.. (=

anw... to all my 36 manpower and all the volunteers from wanbao and 100.3, thanks alot for the great help... my role has be so successful is cos of all of you. (= i may have all the compliments from the logistics and operation team.. but all credit goes to you all... i prob think there's easier 80 of you???? hahz.. (=
wells.. i hope you all have gained an experience of wad a back stage logistical event crew is all about..
hopefully if i ever need help in these events again. you guys and girls will be there again.. (=

alot of things has happened lately....
if i say i'm perfectly fine.. i'm prob joking la...
how can i be ok..
wells but i've made my dearest worry for me most..
told him the truth.. and he kinda felt how sad i was..
so today he smsed me telling me i dun have to break contact with him... cos wads most impt to him is to see me happy...
but now that i'm not happy, he arent any happy too...
sorry dear...
i'm not ok now... but i'll be one day..
in the near future... i'll prob get used to it and be numbed..
thanks for being there for me anyway...
when i was really sad... i really hoped you're there for me. but sad to say you were in camp... thankfully you smsed me constantly.. and thankfully there's work to keep me occupied...
i'm still trying to stop myself from thinking that he'll really be gone from my life... but wells.. i did told him b4... whether i regret or not... its my fault..
mm.. so i'm really busy...
cos sat's the event.. nervous and excited...
nervous cos i scared i screw up my part and pass wrong info to my pple..
excited cos i can get to see celebrities.. and maybe get to take a close up pic with them... hopefully it doesnt affect me.. hazh..

mm... just talked to kor... he said i made a good choice... hopefully ba... my korkor's words should always be right ba.. hahz.. (= thanks kor...
and danny... hahz.. all along i thought wad kor said about you grad from pj is fake de... but who knows you're realy from pj and someone alvin's classmate... woah... the world too small le ba.. hazh..

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