this week kinda hectic..
esp te prom collection...
was being persuaded to go... sigh... ok... anw... hte first collection drove pam crazy...
hazh...
thanks to momo ren who's so indecisive towards his class or not la..
hahz... ok... besides.... its yest's meet the parent session..
hm.... mine wasnt too bad...
attended the talk... sian...
but the booth was good... at least wad ever i wanna ask, i got it done...
thus... i've made my top 3 choices...
since i've made it... its time to take action..
azh... (=
ok... similarly.. yest night pei mummy down to her work place...
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..
super cold..
hazh.. but it was a little fun...
but tiring and scary.. thats wad drove me home..
hazh... if not i'd have stayed...
besides dint wan dear to get so worried.....
all the "niam-ing" really made it sound as though there was gonna be colour wolves around....
so off i went and got home aroun d11 plus...
then played and watched tv...
but yest's multi tasking failed... cos tv too nice to watch le... haz...
ok... there's a meeting today at 3pm... but i'm gonna g there teach instead of attending... hopefully the meeting goes out well... .
(=

another sessoin of heart to heart talk with mum...
love all these sessions...
though always we talked until we cried..
hazh...
though its always the same old topic + additional topics..
hmm... it all started out with mum asking me to check wad fone i wan..
then my liang xin guo bu qu..
so told her i dun deserve her buying me a new fone..
cos of my bad results..
expecting her to scold me...
but instead... she started encouraging me..
and tried finding out my probs...
then mum talked things out wiht me... and even teach me how i should go abt changing the way i study...
thanks mum...
each time i have this chat with her.. .
i feel enlightened... now i really feel the love from her...
more than last time... since that time we thrashed things out..
this is gonna be the last time i blog unless its like a weekend when i'm super duper free and bored..
aiya... since i blog so less... doesnt really matter...
but i'll be back after As. thats for sure!!! love my blog too much...
hmm... ok... was feeling emo...
cos of my emo-ness... and all the wipes. dear dint wanna leave until 11... sry... make you go home late..
thanks anw... i'm not alone... i know this... thanks...
i must thank someone else too... for indirectly helping me la...
and all those weird stuffs on the fone...
(=
thanks... you're such my gd pal...

though words of appreciation not spoken..
but agitation and gratitude should be felt from the deepest.
though moods are always fluctuating..
but sorrow and happiness never fail to bond us closer.
though times may not spent together now...
but thankful to god for bringing us so far.
though we're called each other names..
but those are jokingly known.

stoopid... specially write to you de.. (=
i know you read le will an shuang... but dun yea... (=
muahahz... if i were given a time... i will list longer...
hahz... (= ciao.

hmm.... woke up quite late to do my essay...
yup... wanted to meet dear buy kah hwee's present... but decided that i should do my work instead..
hmm.... ok la... i'm a pig... cos ik'm always tired..
whee!!!!
okok... chatting with wind... poor boy... fractured his FINGER while biking..
hahz... now arm castered...
hahz........ cool la... 5 days on mc... i just wish i can do that too...
but thats so silly...
breaking a finger just for mc.
but ya... was hearing him say abt the army thingy...
big sia!!!!! i think bigger than poly liaox...
and this wind ah... thought i from poly also... too used to poly-terms liao....

ok... serious business...
i pronounce to my friends abt this...
now i'm gonna announce to everyone who reads my blog..
after much consideration... i've decided...
NG PEILING IS NO LONGER A FRIEND OF MINE.
true i did write a letter hoping to patch.
true i did take initiative to talk to her, hoping that things will turn better.
but....
thats not the case..
if a "friend" doubts your personality form the start...
thats not a friend...
she got no choice but to answer my ques cos she's my classmate, my acm...
i understand that and i will..
but from now onwards... she will be relief to see that i wil not ask anything from her le...
not now not forever..
bet if sandy or cindy sees this, or even jy, peiling will know this immediately..
now i know where i actually stand in you the past 1 year... all the neos, pics we took...
i supposed the expressions are all fake..
i'm upset... but only gonna take a while...

no one's worth my tears, the one who's worth it, will neve rmake my cry...
obviously you're not worth it... read between the lines...

wheE!!!!!!!!!!!! should i go meet jun yuan and dear??? dilema... wanna chat more ... hazh..

happy 3 months!!!!!
hahz...
we played a sadistic dadi yest...
hazh... a form of celebration...
since we both thought mum's leaving at 6... so initially planned to go down with her...
but sianx... its 10pm..
hazh... (=
so we offered to have a nice cozy dinner tgt at home...
dear and me cook dinner....
served mum first..
damn funny...
when mum eat finish... we barely started... cos haven cook finish..
hahz... cooked mine last..
added the whole pkt of power...
wahsai... hot man!!!!! (=
hahz... but nice lei.... feel the warmth... (=
anw... i'm lagging behind...
com's lagging too..
thats wad brought my heat up..
sian..
hm.... this afternoon wetn pool with ben and dear..
ahzh... i kena thrash like hell...
magnetism man.... my jump ball rate and dodging rate is 100%
hazh.... it can realli dodge perfectly....
hazh(=
heex... then dear accompanied me to ben's house.... ben and him played this killing game..
ahzh(= see them playing very funny...
jazhh.... (= hmm... ben dint dislike him... glad...
heex.... i ditn say in my blog b4 how close me and ben was hor???
hahz... (= we're just super super close cousins that outsiders who dunno thought we're a couple...
hazh... thats how close we are...
and the irony is that we always bully each other... not like a couple... but more of a sibling...
hazh... share all probs tgt... hmm...
ok.. then a while later.. .taught cedric math...
then ben adn kor adrian came and chap in. all tried to do cedric's math ques... but all never get correct until a few tries..
hazh... learnt from them alot..
the never-say-die spirit... esp ben's...
he do wrongly i think got 4 times le....
hazh.. but t\still never give up..
elsie also... such a cute little girl... (=
ok.. its late le... i'm super duper tired... dunno why...

whoots... i'm surprised and glad that old "friends" are back spamming...
do come back more often.. (=
hmm....
lotsa things happening in maple..
hazh... irritatings ones but weird ones too..
anw... dear's acc kena hacked...
but we scam the hacker's acc too..
imagine a 134 lvl character w/o any weapon nor clothes..
at least dear's other character has got extra set of clothes for his bandit..
(=
hmm.... anw... skol's freezing..
i froze and hibernate..
now i'm beginning if i'm a human..
cos i do hibernate..
(=
hazh... peggy says when its too cold... we'll be too cold to fall asleep..
but i'm the otherwise..
i feel more warmth sleeping..
and ya... i feel tortured in the cold... even if its the slightest wind..
sigh... nose ba... ever since i'm down we sensitive nose and skin...
hahz...
hmm.... ok.. angry... XO TEAM!!!!!!
wad was the pact???
stop mapling in june right???
its july... yet we're still playing...
BAD BAD BAD!!!!! hahz... i'm bad too..
anw... i'm gonna revert soon...
SOON is not the word i should use..
i'm gonna find the root to my probs, settle it and realli stay awake for lessons, and gonna be real guai..
dear's right...
few more months..
i can de... (=
heex... anw... my dear's getting fatter!!!!!!!
ahzh... so he's got a new nick from me...
and i'm getting fatter too!!!!!
so we both got new nicks..
hazh.. awwww.....
sad dear.... you failed.. yet again..
how many times le??? hahz... you'll never succeed until 8 yrs time... muahahz...
nearly taken in... but phew... dint play along...
whee!!!!! after As.... our character can wear that cash item tgt le...
wheeeE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm in my virtual world now... thinking wad gm will do to that scam...
oh.... my virtual world is abt a toy world...
hahz... childish... haven grown up.... they're cute... yet i gotta kill...
awwwwwwwwwwww..... pray in silence... (=
heex...

oh... forgot to add...
supposed to go for consultation today..
but then mr tong... super busy signing the SGC thing... hahz...
and he told darren this joke...
that darren should have started collecting fee form everyone from tue...
cos the queue is like on going...
but today... darren would have been a millionaire...
so lame lor..
hahz.. (= did i mention before how much i dislike mr tong during lessons???
hmm... my attitude towards him changed...
hazh... cos he's nice during consultation... and he realli will look out for students' weakness...
i seem to have a fixed timing slot for consultation with him... except for this week cos of SGC...
hmm....
and mrs tay changed specs and hair style..
talking abt tchrs... i've yet to go back sngs and MI...
(=
miss the tchrs... and juniors...
hazh... MI.... maybe should find S03 peeps back...
miss our class man... all teh fun times rotting and playing.... going out.. and disturbing shit..
hahz... (= our trademark... miss my darling so...
darling... i know you will read de...
you adn ZR ok hor...(=

hmm....
i'm tired,... dunno why..
no zest... all died..
i miss sotong!!!!!! sigh.... shouldnt be thinking of sotong... but yea.
i did a cruel thing to myself...
tell sotong the truth,... and avoid it myself...
unfair to dear... even if he doesnt mind... i mind..
cant allow such things to happen... has to stop...

replies to her.
obviously i know who's best for me... unless you're me to say.
if not you dun have the right to say..
and i'm definetely sure you're the one who's best to me...
cos a friend wun do such things.
and i realli pity myself from wasting 1 yr of friendship with you..
damn... should i say its my greatest mistake???
heck... this is gonna be my last reply to you... cos i have nothing more to say to you..
neither do i wanna assoiciate myself with you around....
you're only my classmate/schoolmate... adn nth else...

hmm.... gosh.... i so love my dear..
touched touched...
you come all the way from chervons just to bring me a small tiny bottle of shampoo!!!!!
hahz... and lugging your ball...
sigh....
thanks dear...
hmm.... i dint know still got SOME pple will even come take a look..
ahz.. (= thanks ah...
anw... i treat you as my friend... just a distant friend... wadever you say... i wun take it to heart...
but who treats me well and not... i clearly know...
not just now... but from the time i know you guys...
hazh...
who cares...
oh... talked to a few pple today..
so happy to be able to spend time online chatting with long lost frineds... (=
go go go friends...
hazh... hmph...
anw.... arts day cum NCT day..
wahsai..
arts day flop la..
XO team go there throw face and enjoy running around, make other run around with us..
hazh... (=
so fun.... sarcastic??? no la... we played and strived every single match until the last one we walked over... cos i FORGOT TO BRING ENTRY PROOF.... so rushed home to take...
sian... in the end was a little late for NCT... sian...
ok.... busy now...

i dun need his news...
must you guys deliberately say it behind me during lect???
hahaz...
i dint feel anything lei..
arent you sad>??? cos i dun feel anything???
hahz... you or jie ying cant influence me anymore...
not now not forever... muahahz...
hmph.. ok la... tired... i've seen the brighter sight..therefore...
adstain of the world's renounce....

i gave myself incentives today by watching harry potter since i was guai enough to complete some work and pay attention in econ esp during lesson..
though i admit i dozed off a few tiems in chem lect... i deserved the pokes and bangs on my body and table.. .it does scare me a while before i'm back into the mood of studying..
school life is hectic and i'm worrying abt tmr's chinese oral...
whether i get my A,B or C.. it all lies on tmr's crucial paper.. many of you know i'm not fluent in speaking politics in chinese... hence i'm worried that i wun be able to do it. and stammer my way through..
dear god... pls pray for me... i knwo my fellow christian friends will pray for me too!!!! (=
thanks fellow siblings of the lord... (=
BTW... HARRY POTTER's a WAASTE OF TIME this time...
sigh... as compared to the previous movies... it arent as interesting as it was before though i must say its very comical...

m...
today's not a very fruitful day..
hm.... woke up late... but was sick also..
super bad flu..
sian..
see doctor then go skol..
but still marked as late..
hmm.... had a talk with peggy today..
hmmm..... ya.. think its really time to change..
hmph..
ok.... went home to sleep until 8...
damn tired.... dun ask me why..
hmph..
anw.... life's been tough.... and will continue to get tougher...

lotsa happened...
dint wanna blog cos i dunno where to start from..
hmm.... but i must really say...
bad start bad day.
but yet moments of happiness worth cherishing..
so guys out there.... to those reading this post currently...
cherish those around you and not regret only when you lose them...
not physically but also mentally or spiritually..
hmm....
okok.... wad happened recently..
last fri after exams... we tonned at pam's house and watched 200 pound beauty..
damn touching..
hmm.... i dint know my tears rolled so easily these days..
hmm... but before we stayed over.... we went swimming at the slide swimming complex..
damn cool... love it there... (=
i'm feeling vexed... troubled..
recently/ or only a few days back... my close friends of mine broke up...
it was shocking.... but yea... glad they are still good friends..
hope things will change for the better...
next bad thing... results wasnt that well done... though i'm not doing that bad as compared to the cohort..
but getting a U for chem is totally absurb for me...
studied realli hard but not proven...
even though tchrs agreeed that the paper was tough, it is still unforgivable..
maths also not doing well though i improved from common test.. but it is still way below my standard..
sigh..
somehow i was reminded of the pre and post exam syndrome..
hmm.... pri and sec... when nearing exams... my results were like shit...
Amaths dropped form A1 to F9 in sec
chem dropped from A* to C in pri..
sigh.... is it gonna happen a third time???
dunno... but wadeva the case is... i'm gonna slog in for prelims and As...
nothing and NOTHING is gonna get in my way.
hm...
3rd bad thing..
i'm getting rash from nowhere..
sigh.... seems like it is sweat rash... but occasionally when i dun sweat, i still get those rashes..
hmm.... gonna see doctor soon.
sigh... lotsa things happened la..
today's mdm chua ting ting's last day teaching us..
went for her lesson last time..
haix..
hmm... then we signed up for past and present day's captain's ball..
then played with the guys by hiding their bags..
but he got angry.... and somehow it pissed me off..
first time in my jc life i ever screamed at someone close to me so loudly that it scared the bus stop pple..
but i was really fumed.... more than b4... more to the extend i wanted to slap him..
sigh.... but soon later... we cooled and really talked things out.... cried tgt... then went town to shop.. shopped for my pencil box.. hmm...
i really dunno when it all became liddat..
i love him yet i cant let jo go...
i know when i'm upset, zz will be upset too... but i really hoped that jo will be there comforting me... even went we walked in orchard.... i dint wish for jo to appear before me even though i wanna see him... i really miss him..
but i know those memories are the past...
i've been reflecting on myself why i keep quarrelling with tooty but not jo... wad the difference were... wanna change things.... i'm tired of quarrelling...
you say once in the blue moon i will agree. but for us its too frequent le..
i dunno wad i'm doing now...
i just wan a simple and happy life... but i'm feeling miserable and sad...
i wun deny that there are happy moments... but you cant deny that there are lotsa of angry, frustrating and sad moments too...
i'm stubborn,, still stubborn... but thats me... i've tried changing but thats prob the best i can go...
i'm vexed... troubled...
but i cant possibly tell you all my troubles.... i dun wanna be a problematic gal in front of you...
i keep to myself... sometimes i wonder if there was a point where i really break down or went into depression...
i know i went into hullcination last year... but no one knew... cos i choose not to say, not to murmur..
i'm tired of life... the poeb just lies in me.... no one else...
hmmm
as requested, i blogged..but dun comment much.. cos i'm in no mood to reply...
ciao

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