hmph.. shall sum things up.
both yest and today..
cos i'm feeling tired..
hmph..
ok yest went skol for pw in the afternoon..
then after which i met peggy to go ndp preview..
after the thing ended. we went to meet alex and his friend gavin..
then alex treated us to crystal jade..
hazh..
the food's super nice..
but too bad.. i dint have much appetite..
so din eat much..
yup. then wanted to go take neos.. but too late..
all closed..
so we went home..

ok today..
woke up super early.. to expo for svc..
was tired..so slept in the mrt..
reached expo at 930..
but still very tired..
headach too..
first half was quite boring..
slept during the surmon..
siew ting woke me up a few times..
sorry..
ate thte panadol thats why..
=(
ok..
then delivery svc..
hahz..
oh my..
out of 2 oathment..
i had to go for both..
one is idolism the other is sexual thingy..
something you're ashame or if your parent divoure due to all these..
so i went out..
both time i felt differently..
first time i cried..
cried very badly..
hahz..
they say like that means the spirit is responding..
so power of god is overcomign it..
so had to cough it out..
nearly vomited again..
ok..
second time..
i nearly fainted..
but i felt someone holding onto me, not wanting me to faint..
but all these cannot be done without faith in god..
amen..
i'm so glad.. i placed my trust in him..
though i dint fall and lose control of myself..
but at least i felt a difference.
now i feel much better..
let go of the past..
felt livelier..(=


ok.. so now i'm home.. feeling very very tired..
hahz..
gonan sleep soon..

hmph.. went ot tekong today.. but i wasnt feeling well.. dint intend to go skol today..
cos i had bad bad tummy ache..
diarrhoea.. hazh.. oh wells..
but in skol.. stomach's not so bad..
wad caused me to be so weak is my headache..
sudden acute pain man..
mm.. so at tekong.. nearly died..
hmph..
only went for the first station..
then at the 2nd station..
mr kum brought me to the office to rest..
then shortly later.. joyce accompanied me..
she had to lok after me la..
=(
felt so bad..
hmph..
ok..
but its ok la..
there got shuai ges man..
hahz..
damn damn handsome..
as compared to those army boys outside..
ahz..
mm.. there's this particular one that kinda looked after me. giving me panadol, water, asking how i felt.. hahz..
i remembered his name!!!
ZX WANG!!! hazh.. oh man.. shuai man.. hahz..
after i woke up.. i felt hyper.. but sad.. its kinda time to go home by then =(
cannot see him le..
in skol saw alex.. he kidna gave me a shock when he stood before me..
heex.. couldnt recognise him.. hahz..
then mum came.. to see mr kum and stuff.. =(
had a long talk.. no choice left alex on his own.. hahz..
mm.. then talk finsih..
had to leave..
=( sry alex..
hmph.. went to lot one to eat..
no appetite..
only ate a few mouthful..
nearly vomitted everything out..
had signs of vomitting la..
ah ma and family came..
so they sat with us ..
mum and ahma chatted.. aunties la.. talk talk talk..
hazh..
they ok.. left.. mum brought me to see doctor..
had fod poisoning man..
argh..
ok.. mc for a day..
if i'm not well then go get another mc tmr..

hey.. ok... i'm back.. hmph.. fri dint update my blog.. okok..
morning i was really happy.. only zz knew wad happened..
ok.. so i shall say why i am so happy..
=) after last year.. i finally had my inspiration to jot down my inspiration for my composition..
so proud of myself..
hahz.. the tune's abit weird.. but my idea somehow just dun match with my song.. have to write it finish by fri man.. hahz.. its gonna be my competition piece..
yay man!!! i'm not sure if i'm gonna hand it in..
if i do,, then i will say wad competition it is for..
ok next.
during chinese..
ctt went thru with us the A-listening compre.. i think i got full marks..
=)
then she changed gp!!! =( sad la.. i miss walter, joey and joyce..
now my new gp is chit ye, xue lian and wang xuan..
not so bad also..
but i prefer the old gp la..
but ya.. peggy knows which gp i wanna belong to.. hahz.. and i know hers too!!! hahz..
right my sp2 hybridized partner??? =)
mm.. then pe we had bball session.. kinda fun la..
but ya.. clique conflict again..
hmph..
ok.. after skol.. rot until 230..
then went down to tamp.. for bible studies..
oh man..
i'm loving it more and more la..
hahz..
ok.. after bs, i chiong all the way down to sp just for the long pant..
mm.. was kinda expecting jo to ask me to stay.. cos he wanna tell me something.. or rather.. ought to tell me something la..
but he dint.. so i left.. nearly cried again la.. but i dint..
when i left.. i had the sudden urge to go back there... and wait..
but i dint..
i left for home..
sigh..

my day's quite a good one..
hahz.. i finally get to see who he is.. hazh..
nice nice..
(=
mm.. not bad looking..
mm.. encouraging..
whee!!
ok..
pe. was bad la..
cos i tot today's sprints..
but its pt
=(
so ya..
mr hiap remembers me as the odac gal.. hahz.. even though he cals my name too..
(=
went to do long jump and triple jump after pe..
oh my.. i cant land into the sand pit le..
is it 7 or 8 metres?
hahz..
after resting..
at around 530.. went to run 4 rounds alone..
hazh..
gonna start training for duathon le..
(=
whee!!! my partner is delia.. and i love her alot..
hazh..
on msn.. i talked to kenneth.. changed my nick just for him
" he's super super nice.. hahz.. and i like him!!! hahz![to kenneth] hahz"
my nick nice??? esp for kenneth.. of 06s03.. hazh..
better be proud ah.. hahz

dun understand why pple just like to give so much excuses..
catn they just come straight to the point??? that they cant make it for this and that..
or rather they wanna avoid you for this and that???
its just so weird that all these pple are just so typical in their answers..
hello??? this is not an essay ques that requires a model answer..
hmph.. oh wells.. wads the point of being angry???
like they are gonna care abt how you feel and in turn apologise to you? or rather come finding you with the same reason you find them..
oh whatever..
i'm pissed.. just pissed..
but whenever i think of god and speak in tongues.. i feel more at ease..
not so tensed up..
but it really boils me up with such answers..
so whoever that reads my blog.. dun mind me if it doesn not apply to you..
it only applies to a handful of pple.. who gave me these answers..

today i'm quite happy.. yet sad also..
i cant believed i actually cried in pjc..
he lied. cos i trust wad delia said..
hmph..
nvm.. afterall i dunno him well..
and i feel that he's suddenly a changed person..
ok.. dun talk abt him..
hahz.. today odac session was a sesssion planned by me, alex and chung lai.. of course not forgetting our Ic, ming hao..
hahz..
so cool..
i enjoyed seeing the various funny actions that the odacians can do..
mm..
i saw him!!! him and him!!!
whee!!! i was like staring.. dazing.. lucky he dint notice..
hazh..
whe!!!
mm.. you gusy dunno who i'm talking abt right???
hahz.. i also dunno..
ohoh!!! today saw mrs goh, mrs kok and ms oh..
oh my!!! i saw them in pjc!!!
whee!!! miss them so much la..!!!
promised mrs goh to go national track and field to support sngs..
but but!!! odac!! so never go lor..
sorry!!!=(

ok.. this is our class tee outcome.. hahz.. the lady sent it to my email =) hope you guys will like it

he's the korkor i loved most.. yet i dunno why he choose not to be my kor anymore..
i dint fall for him.. neither did i tell him i like him..
but why did he chooise to leave?
that time when i broke wiht zc.. soon wh left me..
now i broke wiht jo.. and lg kor left..
why???
am i not hurt enough?
why is everyone playing such stoopid prank on me?
everyone said you will be a good bf. and i was really glad you're my kor..
i just have to accept my fate la..
from just now he said that.. i somehow guessed that i wun see him anymore..
not now not forever..
not even for the kayak we promised one another..
can someone just tell me what the prob with me???
why everyone's leaving me???
am i just not good enough to be close to them?
i really dun wanna cry anymore.. but why he just triggered me agian???

went jo's church today..
with lolenzo..
hmph
we were late..
cos lolenzo couldnt find his house keys to leave home..
hmph..
we saw jo..
cool. baby wore blue long sleeve..
heex..
saw his parents and aunty..
hahz..
i dun think he saw me today ba..
but ya.. after service we went to look for him..
hmph..
his mum came over..
but like as usual lor.. she dun seem to be please to see me.. sigh
in the past i will be super bothered..
cos of parental objection..
but now that we're not tgt le.. i dun care abt wad parental objection le..
i just wanna say.. i wun deny i go church cos of you..
but the only reason cos you've influenced me..
thru you.. i know the importance of church..
guessed those who know me well still know i love baby alot..
yes i do.. i love him alot alot..
but i'm gonna prove my love for him..
i'm not sure if he will change his mind for me..
but i will never change my heart for him.
i knwo in some way i'm foolish..
but i'm jus faithful to only one relationship.
thats only for jo..
w/o him.. i wun be me today..
cos he knocked sense into me many a times..
somehow thru him.. i found my mature self and childish self..
i love the presence of him around..
for one month le.. i'm lonely..
with him.. really lonely.. miss him alot alot..
even though we still meet up.. the feelings and atmosphere is diff le..
really hope a miracle will happen to me one day..


baby. one month le.. will you change your mind? i'm still waiting for you..

ok.. church service tonight.. kinda love it..
hahz..
cos its all bat healing.. and power!!!
hmm.. and today's xin yi's bdae.. whee!!! so we sang the tradition chc bdae song for her.. and present her the sweet gifts..
ahzh..

this is xin yi!!! with her bdae cake.. heex small and cute cake

part of E33.. hmmm.. i dun think all is here.. hahz.. (= we're a happy bunch of pple ya???

me chanel rose

me and chanel with our mickey mouse sweet.. but jie bite her mickey's ears off.. so mean lor

our fav guy in chma!!! MARK TAN!!! he's so cute can??? hahz.. ok.. from left to right.. mark, me, chanel, rose.. heex..

when rose uploaded the other photo of us.. i'll upload here.. hee.. me and mark did some stoopid actions.. and he's so cute!!! hazh.. ok.. he shall be my new eyecandy!!will i see him next year?? ahzh

ok.had investiture yest.. and i was involved .so took some photos.. and the rest boss helped me take the rest.. more than a hundred man.. whoohoo. so here goes:
this is the investiture cake.. isnt it nice??? hahz.. it smells really good lor

me and joanna.. do we look weird with our blazar?

me and alina.. hahz.. both odacian.. and i'm taking the photo again. smurking.. hahz

me and evelyn. one of S06 council. =)

me and peggy!! my other council=)

this S06 presenting.. wiht teh absence of our assistant class manager(acm) joyce.. ask where she is!!! hahz.. he's receptionist.. so not internal.. ok.. clockwise from the top left. evelyn-councillor, peggy-councillor, me-class manager, michelle-peer coach.. all high post hor.. hahz.. esp the top 2!!!

this is our dear principal when you made the speech.=) she's none other than mrs tan-kek lee yong..=)

this is the back of my class tee.. nice nice?
there's numbers on every head.. and the numbers will go along wiht our names.. =)
yay!!!

today's smart and casual day
so i wore home clothes to skol
kenasai..
late to skol man.. kena booked..
pissed la..
then take back papers..
all fail except subpass for gp. err.. sad sad
then..
met jo for dinner..
was late fer half an hour.. cos i totally forgot today everything is pushed back by an hour.
hmph..
went there..
dint see him. thought he left le..
was quite sad..
but decided to wait a while to see..
then he called...
glad la..
then he said he come find me..
so i sat at the usual place we sit.. dazed.. so when he came.. i dint know..
he called me.. dint hear..
until he swiped my hair then i know..
so ya..
he gave me back my shoe bag, i gave him back the remaining pens.
then went to popular to find a book..
while walking there.. he helped me hold my file..
thansk jo.
but cant find the book i wan.. so we went to eat instead..
thru out.. we were very quiet..
besides talking abt our results.. and my sighing over my bad results..
we dint say anythign else at all..
its not like the last time le.. sigh..
i really miss back then..
where i can still fiddle with his hands.. draw on them.
hug him and stuffs..
now no more..
we stood far apart of each otehr..
i realy hope even if we arent tgt , we can still be as close as b4.. talking all the craps and him singing some weird songs..
but they are all gone..
all the fun laughter peace and joy's gone..
his smile has also vanish..
ok.then we left.. at the bridge, we separated..
he no longer wait fr my bus to come..
but when we;re opp each otehr a thte bus stop.. i'm not sure if he got see me..
but i noticed him..
then i teared again..
i managed to hold back my tears when with him.. yet.. i teared when we separated..
i know i'm weak.. cant handle such stuffs well..
sigh.. i still cant accept that fact la..
if we dint break.. today i'll be happy, and not so sad..
next week.. i'm gonna cry even more.. cos its 1 month since we break..
sigh..
ok.. then took 187 to woodlands.. slept thru out the journey..
damn sleepy..
ok.. then met peiling to do some work.. cos dun feel like going home early..
wanna study abit..
then suddenly while studying halfway..
zc smsed me saying he walked past me..
wah!!!
good la.. never say hi to me..
know i super blur de..
hmph..by the time i know.. i go off liao..hazh..
yup.. thats abt it today..
prob after this sun.. i wanna try not to think of jo.. du nwanan talk to him, msn him, ask him go out wiht me le..
wanna forget him asap as my ex.. and hopefully can be good friends/ best friends?
sigh.. or rather wait until one day he find me ba..

i'm getting more and more senstive
sigh..
my fault ya..
i wun get to hug you one last time..
my heart's dead..
i dunno why..
i made a decision to myself.. only told lolenzo..
after tmr.. i wun wanan meet you again.. nor talk to you..
i dun wanan find you le..
if can i wanan vanish in your presence.. after sun's church.
i will only wait for your call. wait for you adn walk towards god..
if you think you will still wait, then thanks.. but you think our feelings will be the same like b4?
i no longer sense your warmth.. only cold..
i no longer know you..
why.. i always thought knwoing you might change my life for real..
we used to be such a loving couple.. no quarrels, and stuffs..
we went thru all the weird obstacles.. but why must it be that obstacle tat break us up?
know if you dint break.. probably i will be happy on this 6th month. instead of crying in my bed.
imagine 6 months later.. i will just be crying on my bdae..
cos that very night you asked if we wanna hook up..
and cos i really love you alot.. i'm willin to do for you anything..
and cos i love you too much..
the decision of not gonna contact you after sun church really pierce thru my heart..
cos i know if i really do that.. you will stop loving me if you still love me..
so wad if i love you.. it takes 2 hands to clap..
i'm just not fortunate enough for such a nice bf la.. thats all i can say..
i'm only sad that cos of us, i made many disappointed..
cos they hope to see us longlasting..
all warned me not to break wiht you..
i did as promise..
but i just cant trust others to keep their word.. cos none have kept their promise..
if you can keep your promise to me.. you're the first whom i can really trust.
forget it.. unless you wanan prove me wrong.. otherwise.. you're right by doing wadyou do now.. not talking to me..
i may not be there for you anymore.. to be like the gal whom you lost contact with. to share you prob and lighten your burden..
but i only wish one thing from you.. no matter wad.. stay happy, if you wanan cry. i will cry for you. as long as you're happy, i'm ok with anything.. really.. even if it means that you got yourself a gf and decided not to wait anymore.. i will respect it..
cos i've already respected you greatly for choosing god as your first priority.. and not continuin the mistake even though you made it for that 5 months.
i will love you always.. but i wun believe you that you love me unless you say it..

i'm finally back blogging..
hmph..
life hasnt be great for me..
but i wun say its totally bad.. cos i still got god...
hmph..
i've kinda forgotten wad i did the past few days..
but ya..
thur and fri was supposed to go back skol for workshop..
but fri i dint go cos i wasnt feeling well..
but i went skol in te evening.. for the investiture rehearsal..
i wasnt feeling good too..
hmph.. ok..
so the investiture ended at around 7 plus..
ok.. sat.. which is today..
hazh.. morning went to skol for fun fair..
past and present day..
cool..
we came to skol with alot of stuffs..
different gp had their own individual stuffs to sell..
hmm.. had a little fight with joyce over the distribution..
but after everything.. its resolved..
and our class still bond as one!!!
whee!!! cool..
ok.. money all collected..
every gp sold all theirs..
hmph we even had joint promotion..
hazh..
ok here goes.. we had sweet at 20 cents..
choco cornflakes.. at 2 packet for 1 buck.. (each pack got 3)
brownie at 1 for 1 buck..
ice popcicles and jelly popcicles at 50 cents and 40 cents respectively..
on overall...
we sold alot alot..
great job S06..
hmph..
but due to the high cost..
our profit to class fund after giving 10 buck to skol is $78.20.
so its still alot..
heex..
i got things to say.. alot alot..
but if i say here.. i will start crying..
so .. i shall type it in our class blog when i'm free.. probably tmr or mon.. look out ya!!!
i just wanna say!!! S06.. w/o you guys.. nth is possible..
thanks for being as a class and having the fun tgt.. selling, thinking of joint promotion, drawing posters for each other's gp, helping other gp do their stuff..
or even the basic thing like looking after our bags.. i'm really touched.. for once. i felt the bond.. close bond..
besides chie hong who went to help other class and jun hong ran away to his friends to watch some show.
everyone did a great job..
to the ava pple in our class.. you guys dint help much.. cos you all were doing the ava.. great job too.. for making talentine possible!!!
ok..
next is church..
today.. i finally felt the presence of god in me.. even though i was really tired..
i dint sleep in expo..
amen!!!
i shall type wad i've learnt in church tmr or mon..
ok.. for now.. i'm really super duper tired..
tmr i gotta wake up early to work..
sorry e33 pple.. cant go for cell gp due to work..
i cant make it for cell.. but i will make it a point to go church!!! house of god is most impt.!!!
god bless everyone.. god's child and my fellow sistas and bros..
=)

hazh..
today..exam's finally over..
orals over too..
whee..
then after orals.. rushed to cck mrt to meet david to get siew ting's gc..
then went to np to see see look look..
ahzh..
whee!!! lolenzo and his friend- jackie brought me around the skol..
wah lao..
pple in np never see jc students b4 ah??? stare stare stare???
hmph..
ok.. then i wanted foolscap.. so went to buy.. only to know that it has their skol name..
ahzh..
cool..
ate i-scream yogurt,, nicenice.. heex..
hahz. in np, saw yanhong, jackson..
hazh.. and a few mi pple.. but i dunno them..
saw banana gal too..
hahz..
omg.. yh rebonded her hair..
couldnt regconise her
hahz..
okok.. went for scc(song composing club) a while..
then left..
and lolenzo insisted to treat me to a taxi ride to kallang just to see jo..
oh my..
so sweet..
thanks didi.. i owe you a treat.. (=
ok.. had a hard time looking for jo.. but finally saw him..
yay!!! finally!!! i was happy inward..
saw you w/o specs..
saw you play..
veyr happy..
the way you look is still the same..
my heart melt..
(=
but i was preoccupied by the fone..
lolenzo wanted to find out how your game was.. and wanted to knwo if we got talk..
we got la.. but not as much le..
smsed joyce.. cos of funfair this sat..
kit wei called to find out abt bible study...
shu han sms to send that friendship sms..
but ya.. i took a video of you playing..
anyway.. thanks baby.
just seeing you really cheers me up alot alot..
evn though when i left, i cried.. i amd still happy..
but that moment when i cried.. a song came in mind..
erm.. actuall ythe song came when you played your 2nd half..
its your song.. but now i forgot the tune.. after the long journey home..
(=
but i'll remember soon...
thanks alot..

went out wiht super animals today to queensway and orchard..
hmph.. queensway to make class tee..
then orchard to eat and watch movie..
hazh..
hmph.. we took neos too..
and we got ourselves all a white hairband each..
so sweet isnt it???
hmph.. ok.. then evening i went to city hall to meet sister esther..
for bible study..
initially i was relectant to go for it..
but after the session, i dint regret coming for it..
sista esther kinda wokr me up..
relationship cannot be forced esp if we're in 2 different hosue of god..
even though all the houses of god leads to the gate of heaven..
erm..
after so many years then i realised.. that god performed a miracle for me..
yet i dint appreciate it and dint know abt it until now that i've think abt it..
when i was pri 4.. i managed to go for church camp..
but back then , both my parents object strongly..
but aunty rebecca prayed for me.. and mum finally allowed.
now that mum's also abit accepting..
also she lets me choose my religion..
now that i know abit more abt religious relationship..
i knwo me and jo most likely cant be tgt even if i'm a christian..
cos 2 person serving diff church cant really go tgt cos of church communication..
and pple are usually tempted to temptations..
esp between someone and god..
and the fact that jo managed to get outta that and choose god.. he did the right thing..
erm... i should say.. i know we wun be tgt le..
no physically..
but ya.. i'm no longer desiring abt it.. if i ever did..
now.. we're siblings in christ.. serving our lord.. jesus christ..
(=
rejoice for me.. for those who are looking at this..
i may seem ok now..
but i'm still at a speedy recovery process..
and of course.. if i choose to go his church or vice versa..
who knows we might patch.. but of course..
no one can predict..
or rather.. we might be the lucky few who have each other even from diff church..
only god knows..
and my life is already pathed by god..
so i shall let him lead my way
=)

Are you in love

today's work was hell lot of fun.
in the morn..
one customer took dale as thomas..
omg.. should hear the way he asked for "thomas"
then he asked for some cucumbers and chilly..
i dint know how to prepare his..
so asked philip..
he asked me to put the cucumber ina bowl..
oh my..
all the cucmber stack tgt la..
so dale asked me to put on a plate..
hahz..
and i put it in a flower shape..
then dale laughed like hell..
hahz..
malu la..
i kinda like today la..
at least i spent my whole day at work..
then wun think too much abt jo..

hey guys.. i know alot of you really are concerned for me..
and i know there will definetely better guys out there waiting..
but its not all abt this..
the prob is i still love him alot..
and that he said he promised to wait..
but i really hope his promise is a promise..
i hope he's not like all other jerks who lie..
sigh..
everytime when i'm alone.. i will think of the past memories we spent together..
really alot..
all nice memories..
sometimes i just wish i could create more wiht him..
but now.. as i think back.. i'll cry buckets of water..
yeat when i went ben's house..
going home that time i noticed the swimming pool.
tot of jo again..
remembering the times i spent almost the whole week with him at gombak stadium then hometeams swimming pool..
i really love the time i spent wiht him there..
cos he taught me how to dive, how to hold my breadth longer under water..
more imptly.. w/o him.. i wouldnt have survived until now..
cos i had leg cramp then.. thankfully he was swimming by my side..
miss the time we helped eachother when he nearly cramped his leg too.
missed the time when he insisted to message my leg for me for the next few days until its fully ok..
besides that..
i also miss the last time i saw him..
that day at east coast..
its my loveliest day, yet now my saddest day..
was it all planned?
was that meant to be the last time i see him??
i really dun wan..
even though now i can still call him the same as i used to call..
but its not there le..
i can no longer hug him and ahem him le..
sigh..

$110 for the month.. whee!!! can you believe that???
whee!!!
oh my oh my..
i'm going insane..
but!!! today only got $22..
hazh..
cos i work one day for the rest of the half month..
hahz..
but still..
its a broken record..
ok..
i'm tired..
seriously tired..
but i'm sill goin out..
going to ben's house..
to pass him japan's map, my cam.. hazh.. and to make some tart?
cool..
i found my japan map..
but i cant bear to part with it..
hahz..
i just love everything abt japan..
hmph..
tmr night ben's flying..
sigh..
i dun think i can send them off..
need to work..
sigh..
hope he will buy lots of jap stuffs back for me..
heex..
i'm greedy... esp when its all abt jap...
hmph..
ok..
went to work this morning.. and i saw amos on the bus..
tot i saw the wrong person lei..
hahz..
and i didnt know 171 actually goes to newton..
ahzh..ya..so was talking to him..
ahahz.. he was going church..
hazh.. next time i can try his church..
hazh..
hmmm... i have a few church in mind now.. to try and see if i'm comfortable
one is orchard pres- pors's church..
one is zion bp- jo's church
one is glory pres-qian's church
and calvary baptist church- wh's church
and the last one is amos's church
but dunno wad name
hahz..
of course not forgetting that i will attedn sat's service for chc..
=)
praise the lord..
hmph..
dint go service yest cos of some reasons..
i think i've sinned..
i went for family gathering.. at bukit timah..
hmph..
then ya..
my main reason was not cos i had fmaily stuffs going on..
but cos at that point of time..
i just felt that me going to church again was not for god but jo..
so i decided not to go if its really for jo..
but ya..
this morning.. before leaving the house..
i unknowingly put my bible in my bag b4 going for work..
and of course reading it..
hmph..
i guessed.. maybe afterall its not really for him..
cos if its for him.. i would have forced myself to read the bible..
hahz..

erm.. i'm thinking of kor now..
i sudenly missed the times i was wiht him..
the times where we practically spent the whole day crapping wiht my cousins and going to the narnia booth..
hahz.. and the time at the beach building sand castle.
hazh.. hmph.
suddenly missed him..
missed his advice, miss his accompany.
miss his teaching. argh..
i dunno.
i'm bothered i'm troubled..
why???
i wanna go church badly..
but ya.. i'm not going now cos i'm not going for the sake of going..
i'm not emotionally stable to leave my house..
why?

was i a good gf or was i not?
why he never wanted to tell me the truth.
he told me cos of christianity and parents..
but why he told lol that there are many reason..
parents and communication's 2 of them..
am i that bad?
am i AM I??
i feel hurt. upset.
but he wun be there for me anymore..
hatred for skol will not be turned to love anymore..
he's no longer there for me
to cheer me up. to care for me.
when i'm cold. he's no longer there for me..
you know? i still cant accept that it happened!!
you guys tot i'm normal..
yes i am.. in front of you guys..
but who really knows how i felt??
who will believe i cant live w/o him??
i bet no one will believe except lol..
dun blame me if i'm foolish.. cos i'm always the naive one when it comes to relationship.
i'm always the one who got hurt..
and cried liek no body's business..
skol said in a relationship, gals are emotional.. but guys are not..
is it true..
cos i'm really getting too emo..
i'm abt to go crazy..
my jo's gone.. who took him away?
return him to me!!!
but to him.. he's normal..
why?
why will he be hurt when he said to me?
why will he be hurt when he know he has other gals liking him??
why will he be hurt if his decision is so firm?
why he dint tell me wads in his mind back then when he said we should tell each other??
was i ever impt to him?
i dunno him anymore..
he's no longer my jojo i know..
all gone..
he've gotten my love.. but he's gone wiht them..
why wHY WHY!!!
why i cry over the break up?
dint i say b4 that if i have a chance, i rather we be good friends..
why am i not happy that it happens now?
why am i sad?? to teh extend that i'm thinking of foolish things??
why my friends are all here.. but none could cheer me up permanently?
i know you guys are here for me..
but everytime you all ask me to cheer up.. i will think of him..
cos whenevr i'm upset.. he will keep asking me to cheer up, smile.. and even send me a sms of smiley faces..
when you guys ask me to cheer up.. it does not help but make me cry even more..
the memories i have with him is alot..
they are now but a past..
he has left a deep footprint in me..
i dunno how to recover from it.. really dunno.. its really diff from zc's..
really dunno..
was i ever wrong to ask him come to the chalet..
was it all a mistake?
was it jus too dramatic for it to be real?
why cant it be a happy ever lasting fairytale?
why wHY WHY!!!

look at char !!! football gal

"Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry, Forget the times he spoke your name, Remember now your not the same. Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can,Forget the times & Don't pretend, Remember now he's just your friend."

"As I sat here I was trying to think of all the times you hurt me and made me cry. . . Hoping and wishing it would make me like you less. But it didn't. Because all the times I could remember were the ones when you showed me that you cared. . . I didn't want to believe that you ever did You walk by me everyday and say hello. Everyday you take time out to listen to me. You talk to me, smile at me, laugh with me, and have fun with me. Well, I talk, smile and laugh too, but inside I'm hurting. Deep down it hurts to be with you because I love you and you are only a friend."

Pls do not remove this section.

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