today lg kor replied!!!
i'm glad..
like he's so busy with his mids yet he replied..
he touched me with hte poem i gave him last year...
somehow he knew i needed a hug..
but korkor's never around now..
thus he sent me the sms..
kor.. thanks.. thansk for helping me teared too..
ok.. in case you guys are wondering wad kinda poem that will make me cry its this:


there's something in a simple hug
that always warms the heart.
it welcomes us back home,
and makes it easier to part


a hug's a way to share the joy
and sad times we go thru.
or just a way for friends to say
they like you cos you're you


hugs are meant for anyone
for whom we really care.
from your grandma to your neighbour
or a cuddly teddy bear


a hug's an amazing thing
its jus the perfect way
to show the luv wer're feeling
but cant find the words to say


funny how a Little hug
makes everyone feel Good
in every place and languages
it always understood.

mm..
ok.. left 2 chinese paper..
one H1 and one GSC..
whoohoo..
no need to study fer them..
so cool..
ook..
how's my exams so far???
maths, being the first paper,
suck la.. dunno how to do alot..
then anyhow do..
hmph..
econs..
lol..ok lo.. paper one some dunno.. paper 2 some elasticity ques dunno
chem..
hmph kinetics reaction dunno..
mcq was so-so la..
hahz.. gp long long over..
forget abt it le..
heex

mm.
yeah... i just love helping people..
yest taught jie maths..
today taught mh, jk and charm maths too..
woots..
gaying around.. but rotting..
haven studies all.. howhowhow????
wad should i do???
i'm afraid i'll fail... hwohwhow

until now i still cant live without you..
sigh.. i feel like my emotions are being controlled by you..
pig.. your fault la..
control my emotions..
baby..waiting for the day to meet you again

praise the lord..
service was awesome today..
hahz..
its friendship connection week..
whoohoo..
ok.. wad i've learnt today..
"faith" is commonly spelt as " R-I-S-K"
yes faith is all about risking.
and trusting the lord..
luke 5:1-2
God sees the potential in every man
-young man sees visions, old man dreams dreams.
~god is omnipotent
omni=always, potent=full of power
-it can also mean god is full of endless potential..
- the greatest fear in your life is not about death. but the fear of not being able to fulfil the
visions and dreams..
voices of your life
1. voices of CRITICISM
when you hear that, think of god who created you in his own image, for a future and a great
hope
2. voices of DOUBT
god even notices when a sparrow fel lto the ground, he said" you're more than a special
sparrow".
if god notices even a sparrow, he will notice you.
3. voices of SELFISHNESS
before you get anything, you should give something
4. voices of LIMITATION
5. voices of FAITH
with god, nothing is impossible as long as you have faith in him.

-never give up cos if you give up, yo umay miss the most impt event of your life.
-dissatisfaction is a good thing
`discouragement is the devil stealing your heart
`success is never final and failure is never fatal
-when yo uknow you're willing to risk and not for retreat, you're on a journey to success and will experience greatest success
- god's word= hard work
`there's no shortcut to success
`god never does anythign small.
`when he does a miracle, he does it BIG!!!

ques: how can you come to a place where god can rescue you? and does for you, be your savious, be your lord?

- the only reason why god chose you cause he wanted to bring you to a vision that makes you a blessing to the whole world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yup.. thats wad i've learnt during service..
god's endless power really touched me..
mm.. ok..
met zc today.
we went back togetehr too..
i mean same train..
he was wiht this gal..
hahz.. gf la.. dun deny.. whoohoo..
hahz.. mm. was with siewting..
realy enjoy myself during service today..
the songs today are nice..
esp the star star song..
and ya..bought my bible study book today..
while paying fer the book..
saw this extremely cool guitar..
i wanna buy la..
cos i wanna learn..
mm.. but its quite ex..
hahz.. maybe one day i shall buy it without mum knowing..
hahz.. =) then i can learn it from church friends and odac seniors..
hazh.. so fun fun fun..
today's the day i really feel relax..
not tensed up over bgr anymore..
hahz.. maybe cos i only slept fer 3 hrs??? then brains not workign to think of those?
az.. poor QIAN.. accompanied me until 3 am .. talkgin to me fer 3 hrs?
hahz.. but ya.. thanks buddy..
i've never enjoyed talkign to you so much b4.. talking abt our past, MI and current..
whoots.. everything under the sun la..
hahz.. thansk alot

i hate to knwo the awlful truth..
why dash my wonderful memories i had with you???
wad i emailed yo uback.. is that the truth???
i really dun awanna hate you..
you said you will wait for me.. is that an excuse to chase me away..
or is that you answer just cos thats wad my cousin said???
wad abt yourself???
why is it that yo udint wanna accompany me thru the journey??
wad is it that you cant explain?
why is it that you cant be truthful to me, when you said last time we should tell each other wad we're hiding?
is it cos you still like her???
you should know wad i'm talking abt..
but then in the letter. you said you no longer liked her.. and wanna tell me..
i believed you..
and i believed you that i was the gal you were looking for, someone just like the gal you lost contact with.. i tried my best to be there fer you.. thought of you b4 myself.. in the end.. this is wad i get..
wad have i done wrong to you that you wanna do this to me???????????
wad wrong have i did?????
have i done wrong to you b4 i knew you? that this is the time i have to repay my debt?
sigh..

Touching story.

Subject: The VeryLast Gospel Tract

Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service atthe church, the
Pastor and his eleven-year-old son would go out into their town and hand
outGospel Tracts.

This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for thePastor and his
son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very coldoutside, as
well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest anddriest
clothes and said; "OK dad, I'm ready."

His Pastor dadasked, "Ready for what?" "Dad, it's time we gather our
tracts together and go out." Dad responds, "Son, it's very coldoutside
and it's pouring down rain." The boy gives his dad a surprisedlook, asking
"

ButDad, aren't people still going to Hell, eventhough it's raining?" Dad
answers, "Son, I am not going out in this weather." Despondently,the boy
ask,
"Dad, can I go? Please?" His father hesitated for amoment then said,
"Son, you can go. Here are the tracts, be careful,son." "Thanks Dad!" And
with
that, he was off and out into the rain.

This eleven-year-oldboy walked the streets of the town going from door
to door and handingeverybody he met in the street a Gospel Tract. After
two hours of walking inthe rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and
down to his VERY LAST TRACT. He stopped on a corner and looked forsomeone
to
hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then heturned
toward
the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to thefront door and
rang the door bell.

He rang the bell, but nobody answered. He rang itagain and again, but
still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.Finally, this
eleven-year-old trooper turned to leave, but something stoppedhim. Again,
he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the doorwith
his fist.

He waited, something holding him there on the frontporch. He rang again
and this time the door slowly opened. Standing in thedoorway was a very
sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, "What can I do foryou,
son?"

With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world,this little boy said,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I justwant to tell you that
JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU and I came to give you my very lastGospel
Tract which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE."With that, he
handed her his last tract and turned to leave. She called tohim as he
departed.
"Thank you, son!And God Bless You!"

Well, thefollowing Sunday morning in church, Pastor Dad was in the
pulpit. As theservice began, he asked, "Does anybody have a testimony or
want to say anything?" Slowly, in the back row of the church, anelderly
lady
stood to her feet. As she began to speak, a look of gloriousradiance came
from
her face, "No one in this church knows me. I'venever been here before.
You see, before last Sunday, I was not a Christian.

My husband passedon some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this
world. Last Sunday, beinga particularly cold and rainy day, it was even
more
so in my heart that Icame to the end of the line where I no longer had
any hope or will to live. So I took a rope and a chair and ascendedthe
stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to arafter
in the
roof, then stood on the chair and fastened the other end ofthe rope around
my
neck.Standing on that chair, so lonely and broken-hearted I was aboutto
leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairsstartled
me.
I thought, 'I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will goaway. I waited and
waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and moreinsistent,
and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly. Ithought to
myself again, 'Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings mybell or
comes to see me.' I loosened the rope from my neck and started for thefront
door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder. When I opened thedoor
and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porchwas
the most
radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in mylife.
His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words thatcame
from his mouth caused my heart the at had long been dead TO LEAP TO LIFE
as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, 'Ma'am, I just came to tellyou
that

JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU.' Then he gave me this GospelTract that I
now hold in my hand. As the little angel disappeared back outinto the cold
and rain, I
closed my door and read slowly every word of this GospelTract. Then I went
up to
my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't beneedingthem any more. You
see I am now a Happy Child of the KING.
Since the address of your church was on the back of this Gospel Tract;I
have come here to personally say THANK YOU TO God's little angel whocame
just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from eternityin
hell."

There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts ofpraise and honor to
THE KING resounded off the very rafters of the building,Pastor Dad
descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angelwas
seated. He took his son in his arms and sobbed
uncontrollably. Probablyno church has had a more glorious moment, and
probably this universe hasnever seen a Papa that was more filled with love
& honor for his sonexcept for One.
This Father also allowed His Son to go out into a cold and dark world.He
received His Son back with joy unspeakable, and as all of heavenshouted
praises and honor to The King, the Father sat His beloved Son on athrone
far above all principality and power and every name that isnamed.

Blessed are your eyes for reading this message.
Don't let thismessage die, read it again and pass it to others.
We will meet in Heaven.

mm..ok.. almost wasting my whole day today..
mm.. cos i slept super late last night.. studying chem..
i think 2 plus 3 ..
then this morn i couldnt wake up..
haz..
so around 11 plus, near 12 then woke up..
went to bathe and stuff.. then went out wiht mum le..
mm.. studied econs on the way to bukit merah..
2 pages.. not bad la..
then ate this vegetarian store..
food's ok..
then went back to lot one..
kimage..
hahz
cut my hair!!!
hazh..
whee!!
its short now..
i dun have to tie it up..
hahz.. whoohoo..
i like the person who cut my hair.. cos its nice to me now..
hahz..
and his name is special..
edison.. thomas edison sia..
okok. crap again. but ya.. i like my hair style..
next time when i grow up.. i'm so gonna cut the jap hair style which i saw on the book..
damn cool and nice..
but now i cant. .
cos i will look messy now if i do so..
and when its longer, i will have to tie it up.. so cannot =(
mm.. went around lot 1 buy stuffs with mum..
ok la.. after crying the whole night.. i guess going out will chill me down..
but on the way.. mum asked me to try ways to patch..
mm.. its not gonna work la..
cos i've always tried.
but he still say no..
wad can i do then..
hahz.. guess mum accepted you and sees you as her son-in-law?
i'm not sure.. but she has never asked me to patch with zc b4.. and i dunno why she suddenly asked to do so wiht you..
sigh.. dunno dunno..
right now.. since we've broken.. and your ans is still so firm..
i'm not gonna think abt it le..
neither am i interested to know others le...
though i'm not really in the studying mood now..
but ya.. my heart will place nothing but studies, god and waiting..

aftr talking to him..
i thought i was brave enough to withstand..
but it proved me wrong..
a teared a little..
but as i started writing letter to you again.. i cried..
very very sad..
i finally started crying like b4 again..
but this time there's no more wh fer me..
its just myself..
yes.. i started to write letters for him. like how i used to do when we were in MI.
the only difference now is that we are no longer together and i dun intend to pass them to him..
i have many things to tell him.. but i really dunno how to ask.. so write them down..
but i dunno how to pass to him..
they said we will end up together..
but is this gonna be true..
i dun wan false hopes again..
this relationship is also false..
really hate myself now..
why must i go thru this a 2nd time..
its really painful..
i feel my heart really split into 2.. like broken glass shattering..
its like a broken glass breaking a 2nd time.. sigh.

mm.. my day's not veyr fruitful though
hazh.. quite slack..
but i learnt some chem.. hahz.. yay!!!
i miss my baby.. i still miss him.. i still love him..
sigh

Hong Jun Yang - Sha Sha De Shui

this song is nice and touching

mm.. in the wee night.. belle suddenly said something!!!
hazh.. and i dunno why i laughed..
thanks aunty belle..
hahz. mm.. you're the best man..
no wonder among all my friends, i'm still closest to you.. even though we're hardly by each other.. but we always think of one another ya???
mm.. no crooked thinkings.. hahz.. cos we're straight.. whoohoo

erm.. ok.. bible study changed of date..
cos siew ting couldnt make it..
mm.. then dint go for prayer meeting..
cos not my cell gp's day..
but ya..
heard from kit wei. that today's prayer meeting is a very powerful one..
sigh
missed it..
but ya..
went to ben's house after leaving skol..
then only cedric at home initially.
then teach cedric abit of his work..
then when popo came.. played with small boy.. he so cute la..
mm.. taught him how to say please today..
was kinda mean to him la..
but think thats the way to teach small kids la..
hmph..
i guess i'm feeling a bit better..
at least i'm smiling to my nephew le ba..
he kinda cheer me up..
usually.. when i just look at baby.. i will naturally be happy..
now no more le..
there's no more baby fer me to look at.. sigh

oh.. joyce jie.. happy birthday.. =)
i might be sad.. but i never forget your bdae ya???
be glad i still think of you..

mm..
dint blog abt chc that day..
hahz..
mm..
i'm glad to be back at chc ba..
hahz..
yue with siew ting on fri to go back chc..
and i did it!!!
whoohoo...
mm..
ok..
church was fun with the father's day message..
4 things a dad should give their children.

1) attention
-love is spelt as attention
-communication is the key of life
-health of communication between fater and son is fellowship

2)assurance
-over 40 times in the bible did god say of jesus " this is my son"
-give them assurance cause children want to belong to the family
romans 8:16

3)give your children affection
mt 3:17 "... beloved son"
-god is not emotionally shut down
a)by providing for their physically need
~2con 12:14
~god cares abt you in every aspect cause he's a good and caring father
b)by discipling them in the ways of righteousness
c)by spending time and showing interest
~a father's thinking and a child's thinking is always different

4)give your children approval
-recognition and approval is satisfying

father's day service kindalet me opened my heart towards my dad..
mm..
those who knows me know i'm not close to him..
oh well..
i made an effort to sms him to wish him happy father's day..
=) kinda glad i attended.. if not i will be reluctant to sms him.. like the ususal me on every father's day and his bdae..

today might be the last time i will ever smile to all my friends ba..
emotion's running over me..
oh wells..
we broke.. cos of religion..
but ya..
nevertheless.. jo..
thanks.. fer the last memories you created fer me..
at the sea..
thansk for being with me the last time at my fav place..
even though you said you will wait fer me, i know deep down we arent never gonna be together again.
dun ask me why cos i dunno why.
maybe cos no matter how much i wanna walk towards god, i wun be able to make it.. cos i never succeed before..
its not like i dun wanna be one..
started going since pri 4..
but i hardly go..
not like i dun wanna read the bible, but i really cant commit myself to reading it everynight..
i will tend to forget..
but ya.. i will still try it again..
if by heaven's will that we have to go thru this, i will..
but if we're not meant to be..
then instead of you saying sorry to me fer breaking my heart, i will have to say it back to you..
for wasting your time waiting..
but i know you wun wait too long.. cos your feelings fer me will fade adn i'm sure of that..
furthermore, you have your freedom to woo other christian gals..
but no matter wad happens, pls know that i always love you..
even at that very moment that you said to me.. i cried..
i still love you..
even if one day i dun make it to reach out for god's hand, pls know that i've given my best and i still love you..
prob.. my love fer you will never fade...
thanks fer listening to me at the beginning.. when i told you not to put your gf as your first priority..
now i know you did it well.. cos you put god as your first priority..
i wun hate you nor blame you..
someone used to say, the more you love someone, the deeper you will hate that person..
but its not true..
cos if you really hate someone, you will never have a deep feeling for that person..
deep in my heart.. i will always wait for you..
goodbye baby and welcom jo..
no more baby, no more daddy, no more sotong..
prob i will feel awkward talking to you as compared to qian and the rest..
but i will still try my best..
i never wanna cry in front of you..
cos i wan to leave you with the impression of my last expression at the sea with you..
at least to you, i will always be smiling..

its ok if you hurt me again..
but its not ok if you dao me..
cos you're impt to me.. as i told you before..
but wadever the case is..
no matter wad..
i'm still waiting fer your reply..
even if its 1 year, 10 years or even 100 years down the road..
i've kept the jap name you gave me..
the day you really wanna talk to me again, call me by the way you used to call my jap name..
oniichan.. wil miss you..
and last time i wanna say to you..
aishiteru.. as a bro

mm.
went out with zhuzai today..
hazh..
met at 11am at cine..
then went to buy ticks..
she's the man..1245pm
then went to long john to study
hazh
mm.
dint do much then went to watch the movie le..
damn funny
i lke it alot man
hazh..
then after that..
went to bugis fer shopping..
buy friends' bdae present
hazh..
zhuzai having headache sia..
better rest well.
mm..
anw.. at cine saw soon hwee..
gosh..
he thought zhuzai's my bf..
nono..
hahz
then at somerset, zhuzai saw his juniors..
and thought so too..
oh my!!!
and today kinda suay..
saw so many chs pple and sngs at orchard..
bugis also got..
aiyo!!!!

mmm.. whoever's reading this post, juts ignore this k???
i just need to fustrate my self in there..
mm..
been moody lately.. dunno why?
i shouldnt be cos there arent anything fer me to be moody..
but its just mood swing..
sigh
find kor. but kor never reply. called him he never answer..
mmm..
KOR KOR>> WHERE ARE YOU???
sigh..
wished you could be there fer me like last year..
but i know your'e busy with skol work now..
esp when you're in council..
haix..
when are we gonna go kayak???
faster faster..
haix

mm.. veyr sad..
i always waited for the day where you wun be angry with me and allow me to call you kor again..
but now, you think its a game to you le..
hurts me alot..
to me, its not a game.. but i really take it real...
the reason i had brothers cos i dun have any siblings... therefore i really wan a taste of having them.. yet to you its a game...
know since the day you dun acknowledge me as your mei, i was supposed to give up my jap name..
but i choose not to.. cos i believe one day you will know that i wish fer nth except your happiness..nth but your trust..
but from the start, wad you said were just some sweet talks that you might have said to others ..
from the start, i bet you took me as your mei for fun only..
after 1 year.. i'm still waiting..
waiting to call you kor again..
sigh.. back then i thought my feelings fer you is love.. but since i went japan after Os i knew it wasnt.. it was prob just a sibling love..
but it was all too late..
i once heard you say to dunno who that you dun wan to accept me again cos you're afriad i will fell for you again..
sigh.. there's nth much fer me to say
i dun wanna be your friend, neither do i wanna be your close friend... cos i dun wan you to think of such things..
any thing can happen from friends... but not toward sibling..
i only wanna be your mei.. one who shares her kors burden.. one who lends her kor a listening ear.. even if its too deep fer her to understand..
but since you only wan friends.. its impossible fer us le..
my jap name.. sigh.. should i return to you? or keep with me as a memory???

i really wanna call you korkor again.. at least i can stil hear you in the fone.. bullshitting abt everything under the sun during the hols..

hmm..
fri we were supposed to meet at east coast.. but xin xin sick le..
so she never go.. then raining..
so many did not go..
joshua went..
hazh
we went to rent 2 overnight bike and a norm one.. '
then cos i brought a tiny tent.. we built the tent in the shelter and put all our belongings in the tent..
then we had fun until abt 2 plus 3 . he left..
so finally left me and baby..
mm..
then we went to rest for a while.. think got 1 hour..
then went to the sea and play water..
hazh.. i finally know how to throw skipping stones le..
last time korkor taught me.. but not always successful..
now i finally know..
had a lot of fun playin in the water..
when we were abt to come out.. myt bracelet dropped into the sea..
so lost it le..
sigh.. though i'm sad.. but cos i lost it.. sotong insist to stay in to look for it a while..
so sweet of him la..
hmm..
then we went to bathe..
wah.. burrrr.. water freezing cold la..
hazh.. after bathing.. we went back to the little tent we built..
then went riding in our bike to pp to have dinner..
then eat until 8 plus. .then cycle back..
slack int he tent for a while..
before going tback to watch tv..
hahz..
so funy..
thruout this cycling journey..
i heard charlotte's voice..
ahzh..dunno asking around who wanna play bumper then said hello to her..
so fun!!!
but when i came back.. couldnt find her le..
=(
so baby and i went back to the tent..
hahz..
many pple thought a guy and a gal alone in the wee night.. something would have happened..
hazh
but i guessed we proved them wrong..
cos nothign happened..
we just slept on our sides...
mm..
i wun say we dint hug la.. besides its our 5th month anni..
i can only say i treasure the whole night..
hahz..
mm.. then night morning.. we woke up at 5 plus 6 cos of the nearby noise
then wanted to go watch sunrise...
but by the time we ate finished our breakfast.. too late le..
but cos we dint knwo wadtime was sunrise..
we cycled all the way to bedok jetty to see..
but no sunrise..
instead we saw how "fishermen" cruely fish little fishes..
then got one lady so nice..
say one man.. if he fish for fun.. he should let the fishes back into the sea after fishing them up..
but the man dun care her.. so i helped to save one bigger fish..
hope that fish not dead..=)
on the way when cycling back, we went to see the castle beach..
so nicely made..
hazh.. but haven upload it into the com yet..
shall do so soon..
now that all those is over..
think baby's in malaysia le..
i think i should start studying for mid years le..
dun wanna let zhuzai and baby down.. esp my mama.. =)

overall pics.. =)
for belumut

my group.. cutie pies..
clockwise:siew li, me, shu han and alina.


our tents.. wah!!! alina like our keeper hor??? =)


half of gals power..
with 3 non-odacians.


gals power w/o non-odacians. and seniors.


our table power.. hahz


some seniors and juniors .. =)

thats abt it.. i got alot.. but shant post too many and take up too much space.. =)

neh neh ni pu pu..
mm..
yay!!!
creative called..
saying i can get a new MP3..
but!!!
dun have the colour my silver le..
mm..
wad colour should i get???
red, purple, dark blue, lime green and i think orange..
baby asked me to get orange cos he's getting orange speakers..
hazh..
whee!!!
but is there orange???
i couldnt hear that person properly..
hazh.
hmm..
and should i go cut my hair???
hahz..

anyway.. today's kristine's bdae..
we went out to watch x men.. then celebrate for her at kobayashi..
then mama said something damn disgusting..
hahz
mucus sia..
hahz.. puke puke..
mm.. oh not forgetting the neos..
hazh
luv you all man..!!! =)

i'm so dead..
affected by him..
ahhhh.. how how how???
sigh

>eh ming hao..
cheer pig!!!
dun think abt it and you'll be fine..
numb yourself with something except alcoholic drinks hor..
its not good fer your health

>alvin
hey!!!take care of your fever lei..
hazh..
sick still can go out and stay out so late de..
hahz..

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