at this point of time.. i really dunno wad to do lei...
i also no mood to blog liaox..
much have been happening..
wish everything will not be liddat..
probably its always me that stirs the whole conflict..
but i really dun wish to..
i only wanan know how you're actually feeling..
why you just cant seem to trust me even 1 %?
do you hate me???
do you despise me?
how then i can make you trust me?
i really dunno..
you know i can get so upset abt you that i lose interest in every single thing ma???
gandie and gandi was trying to interpret your sms to me..
when i finally know wad i meant, i only had tear in my eyes..
dint wanna let them see.. but think they saw liaox..
went to the toilet to cry instead b4 going for assembly..
i know now wadever i say its no use..
but i just wanna say..
prob i'm to dependent on you.
but without your support, i wouldnt even be wad i am today..
probably last august i've already did something foolish..
its you that i got up..
its you that changed my life..
but why the trick played on me???
but now whenever i talk to you, it will just turn everything to an arguement or quarrel..
i dun wan that to happen..
neither do you..
why say i dint try hard enough to be a sista?
i never know how its really like to have a brudda..
but i wanna try my best..
whenever you said you're stress, i cant do much from far away.
but i really wanna share your burden..
dint wan you to be tired cos you work till late,
asked you to rest early..
wad can a sista do???
i really dunno..
can someone tell me???

will blog as usual... hahz..
today shiok man..
ahzh... first 4 periods no lessons..
which is 2 hours..
hahz... no eng and lit..
both ms ho and ms fazi arent here..
hahz.. then had assignment to do..
during ms ho's lesson... many of us were doing..
then suddenly ms lim came into the class...
and confiscate 2 zen micro.. and a packet drink and a bottle drink..
apparently grandma and keira went to the canteen to get a drink..
can got caught by ms lim...
so she came to our class..
hahz..
lucky man..
me and shi hui's zen nearly got confiscated too..
thankfully we noticed earlier..
hee..
well...
4w.. too infamous liaox..
all the tchrs know abt us..
nothing unusual...
sigh..
just felt sad for all the chao guai ones for being in our class..
hahz..
hmmm..

arm hurts like hell..
but still tried to dance..
occasionally i had to rub it so that it doesnt hurt so much..
hmm.. no choice..
syf is drawing near...
sigh..

hahz...
rose saw zhi cheng's ring today..and was super sad..
ahhz.. hmm..
in order not to let her feel so sad..
had to ask my this senior if he's attached..
so funny..
anyway he's not la..
so dun be sad mummy..
hahz..
then we borrowed his ring to take a look..
wow.. its really nice..
but chao de big la..
hahz..
ex somemore..
hahz..
rich kia...
hahz..

anyway..
tmr is a nice day...
after skol got rehearsal for thurs award winning presentation..
hahz..
fun fun..
hee..

hmm..
skol has imposed a new curriculum for us..
every odd weeks, we gotta stay back on mon and tue for extra lessons on bio and chinese..
and even weeks on thurs for chem..
cant they like impose everyday..
hahz..
sadist la..
a gal who wants skol so much though she hates them.
sigh..

anyway.. promised mick that i will study hard..
i will la..
but just that if the end result isnt wad i want..
i will burst into tears..
the fact that i strive so hard..
thats why i'm afraid to try so hard...
but you will wait right???
its kinda gonna be a long time..
3 years ah???
worth waiting ma???
hazh..
hope i'm not wasting your youth...
hahz...

went online and saw you online too..
but its just so sad that we dint talk much..
sigh..
why cant we just talk as long as b4???
haix..
heart's sinking...
when i hear wo nan guo ..
wun cry anymore..
now when i hear forbidden love and sekainihitotsudakenohana..
wah sai..
cry man...
are you so effective in making my tears out???
sigh..
i wished you arent...

today :skol... argh..
as usual..
nothing interesting..
sigh..
other than after skol going for high jump and a while of back ups..
haz..
hmm..
pple who knows me well..
know i cant do high jump..
hahz..
yup..
true..
i cant even qualify,,
hahaz..
so paiseh man..
put me in triple ma..
sure can qualify de..
sigh..
but i'm not..
now am left with 2 finals...
one is long jump ..
due to the heavy downpour last wed..
and 4x100m on the actual sports day..

goshie me..
god, bless me man..
its my lastyear in sngs..
hope i get back something to end off my year...
just like how i started off my year..
sigh..

oh and this wed i will miss mep again..
got some prize presentation dry run..
thurs the actual thing..
wah..
i never get service award b4..
this year got it ah???
hahz..
the sky must have dropped down from no where...
hazh

wee... had dance today..
horizon shifted to a new building..
quite hard to find initially..
hahz..
but when my mum found it..
its actually quite near..
hahz..
near my hospital too..
hazh..
hmm...
during lunch..
we actually walked all the way to east point..
fun fun fun...
hahz..
hmm..
learnt some new movements..
hahz..
realised mybutt's super stiff..
cant shake it..
or move it..
hahz..
well gotta practice more of that kinda movement..
hmm..
old yellow gave us a pretty nice welcome..
hazh
sept 15-17 dance grand performance..
during the june holidays..
we're gonna have dance camp
looking forward to it now..
hahz..
even if we're taking leave from dance horizon to prepare O level..
think we will still go ba..
and probably i may change my mind of quitting dance..
hahz..
wad a promising year..
hahz..
just dun let me do chinese dance..
modern dance is my forte...
hahz..
wee... anywya were doing bridge..
but i still cant do..
left hand's too weak..
my body will jsut collaspe man
hahz..

hmm..
to someone..
i dun really bother how you view me as a slacker..neither should you need to bother so much abt me..
as much as i know...
i put in effort in everything i do.. even if dance is not my ultimate cup of tea..
well..
more like you should try refine and define yourself..
to wad i know..
you're a coward..
afraid of putting your name..
hahz..

to jiamin and olivia..
hey meis..
thansk for saying for me ya..
but know wad..
we shouldnt do anything at this moment..
hmm..
let jie teach you something..
hee..
"point one finger at others,
four fingers point back at you."
true ya??
bother bother abt them k??
as long as you trust jie and i know i'm not can le..
we dun have to be swayed by wad others say..
you too ya??
dun get swayed easily by wad others say abt you, esp when they badmouth you behind you back... =)

ok..
i'm back..
as i was saying..
i went to play squash..
hmmm..
hand wasnt strong..
hazh..
cos my right hand's weak..
so kinda alternate..
but as you guys know my relapse of my leg hand injury..
so i couldnt play my best too..
hazh..
but managed to make aunty run..
hee..
hmm..
bowling..
its just pre luck..
wad we call taico..
heehee..
my luck comes all togther..
hazh..
then vanishes all together too..
but thankfully..
i mantained it...
=)
hmm..
cant really come online as often as possible liaox..
hahz..
mum locked the com la..
kinda sad..
but no worries..
hee..
its time to be sensible too..
must wake up from my dream land..
sigh.

pple said we sound more like steads than me and zc..
are we???
why others can get the impression de???
must they give the wrong signal and wrong inferring???
we're not..
not even close how to be steads...
and you got your ai ai..
i cant replace her de..
sigh..
no matter how much you meant to me,
we cant be together..
thats a general fact

finally i get to use the com..
not at home though..
cos a password is being put up..
hmm...
used it at ben's house..
hahz..
am so glad i can get to use..
hee..
anyway..
supposed to go indoor
but ah ma dun allow ben to go..
so i cant go too..
sigh..
hmm..
kinda a sian day
yest dint do much..
morning worked till around7pm..
then during that period of time..
did some skol work and studied,.
but thats not the kinda life i want..
i want a carefree life..
but i feel trapped..
like a bird being trapped in a cage..
sigh...
anyway i wanna instore password in my blog liaox..
cos i receive spam messages again,,
hate it so much..
this time will only let my friends know..
those whom i think deserve it,
yup..
hahz..
hmm...

ks..
kinda still waiting for your reply..

mick..
thanks for smsing me..
but i cant seem to be able to contact you..
hahz..
how?

went bowling on sat... finally got my turkey..
sigh..
but still sad...
cos i couldnt go indoor for easter "concert"
cos ben cannot go so i cant go too..
cos told mummy i'm going with ben..
on the end went to our club to play squash and bowling..
hahaz..
played squash..
not very good at it..
just learnt in that day..
hmm..
cant blog liaox..
lessons starting..
shall continue when i'm free....

hahz... anonymous... wads makes you think i've slack???
and i think you're from dance too right??
in case you dint know..
let me tell you as well as the world who keeps accusing me..
i had an accident last year..
think all those who was there in dance last year knew..
so..
this time it is a relaspe..
if you dun believe then i cant stop your bloody mouths from saying wadever you think abt me..
but let me tell you..
if i'm truly slacking..
you think i will even wanna do ji ben kong..
go use your heads..
hazh..
i've put in so much effort in dance...
however i dun see a point..
esp in modern dance..
why should we even keep trying when we've got great slackers..
if i'm a slacker.. then they are pro slackers..
go do your hw abt me b4 you start your bitching...
shooo..
haz..
oli..
thanks..
jie will always support you de..
and all the mei mei men..
hahz..
gambatte..

hi mick... finally received your sms..
wah... wait for your sms until i got white hair le..
hahz
jkjk..
anyway you're really busy hor??
me also busy..
but can still come online..
now never see you online liaox..
hmm...
i remember our promise..
but i got 27 pts for my term one lei..
sigh..
anyway probably come my skol on 29th april..
our skol sports day..
maybe you can see me..
i'll be running..
for 4x100m..
hmm...
next thurs getting my award too...
but you cant attend..
=)
reply me if you receive k???
hmm..
i can only reply you in here..
oh.. that time i went rjc for some concert... whoa.. love the skol ..
=) hee...
seeya soon
hee.. takecare too...

its good news..
really good news..
initially we ran so slow..
thought couldn't get into the finals..
but we came in 2nd..
yay!!!!
most probably will be running on sports day..
unless we disqualify la..
hee..
so glad..
then long jump...
first 2 times just couldnt pass the qualifying metre.. which is 3.6m
but thankfully at my last try, i qualified..
however even b4 we started...
it rained cats and dogs..
too heavy to jump in the rain.. wads more got lighting..
hahz
so finals will be postpone to another day..

but after all these... i gotta admit my arm hurts alot..
hahz..
then went for mep..
after mep..
had a gossip session..
with fel and the rest..
veyr long never talk to fel and them le..
cos initially they were talking abt me..
sigh..
nvm..
thats the past..

hmm... then geog..
scored quite well too..
finally got my distinction..
hahz..
but simin ah..
not honest de..
hinted to her so many times to check her paper..
in the tchr's papewr..
she scored 20..
but however..
after counting so many time..
she only got 19..
but she dint utter a single word..
disappointed in you simin bao..
dishonest..
how can you.???

hmmm.. .receive good news today..
quite happy.. =)
yay!!... got good service award..
shi hui was telling me i received the good service award..
then on yee told i no, i dint receive good service award but academic award..
initially blurred..
wondered how i can receive both awards... adn moreoever my academy in secondary level arent as good as pri..
hahz..
hmm..
i know my results are lousy..
but mind you..
i was top in pri skol..em2 duh!..
but beat some em1 pple..
now..
my life is all messed up..
hahz..
wadever the case is..
i went to check the board..
hahz..
surprised my name was there..
but ya..
i received the service award..
hazh..
in sec, never gotten any prize other than sec1...
finally another award.
yay..
time for celebration..
hahz..
hmm.. .well... i gotta do my best this year for another award next year..
yay!!!
chinese peeps.
sorry if i had been screaming at you guys for 1 year..
another half a year more..
gambatte..

hmm... received my a maths and lit paper..
quite satisfied with lit..
cos i passed..
hahz..
hmm... i'm hopeless in lit la.. so even if i pass on the dot, i'm really happy..
but for a maths..
disappointed in myself..
minus 9 marks for nothing..
if not could have gotten an A1 instead of C5 again..
sigh..
and ctc has so damn bloddy high hopes on me..
err..
pple fail a maths then go for remedial..
me pass also must go..
haiyo..
cant breathe man..

*still thinking of how i'm going to go for sports heats on thurs when i got dance*
sigh,,..
everything is clashing together..
i dunno which to do 1st..
all 1st priority to me..
headache...

anwyay our syf[14/03/05] will be cat high's dance syf too..
probably will see rj..
hazh..
hmm... then co's syf[22/03/05] will be the same day as cat high again..
shi hui will see wh..
hahz..
hint*:i'm jealous!!! hahz...
sigh... days are getting nearer..

composition deadline also nearer..
howhow??/ so screwed..
mr wong half approve my chorus..
means half approved and half disapproved..
my third chrous of the same composition liaox lei..
when then will approve??
i still haven written my bridge..
gosh..
no juice..
all the juice that flows are some sad kinda tune..
dun wan my song to sound sadder cos its already a sad song..
shant say how it came abt..
=)
well.. but it dint came from any of my crush or stead..
but from a special person b4.. =)

hmm... today chao sianx..
morning. met derrick kor at cck mrt at 1015
den we took mrt and bus down to creative fair..
hmm..
today not much crowd le...
hmm...
went to buy the battery mum ask me to buy..
hmm... its 40 bucks..
kinda ex..
then saw cds being sold at $5 for member..
so kor wanna buy..
cos i member ma..
hahz..
bought 2, which is 50 cds, for 10 bucks...
cheap man..
ahz..
i bought 1 too... cos i'm working on something that needs mass production for 39 people..
hahaz..
hmm...
then we went to pay..
cool...
hahz..
battery instead of 40 bucks..
its reduce..
cos my member dard gor dunno how much to offset the payment..
zai,,
hazh..
hmm..
then we were kinda crazy la..
from creative warehouse..
walked all the way back to entertainment centre...
hahz..
went for a drink at jurong regional library..
brrr...
stayed in there for quite some time.. .then started to feel cold..
so we went out..
back to cck...
then went p**l again..
improve la..
but still like shit..
eeee...
hahz...
but somehow sometimes taico..
hahz
hmm... back home blogging.. yup..
listening to my new mp3 songs.. in my new mp3..
hahz
yay!!! so glad..
hmm... but still..
life is meaningless..
emptiness..

i need a break..
seriously a break from everything
esp dance..
its hell killing me..
finally the week is near to an end..
hate this hols alot..
hazh..
hmm..
well... thats cos i gotta go back skol everyday, including sat..
thankfully sun dun have to..
if not i'm dead by now..
hahz..
damage to my body..
hmm... lets see..
cant really count exactly.
but my left leg has 4 bruises on my knee and some blisters on my toes and feet..
right leg's probably even worst..
2 bruises
but got alot of blisters...
at the edge of my feet..
cant really walk properly..
then nice teacher say..
tiao4 zui4 huo4 yi1 ci4
kaox...
cant move liaox..
but still on stage, i forgot all about my wounds and danced..
dunno why i can concentrate so attentively when dancing..
kinda gave my whole heart into it..
but tchr's always not satisfied..
sigh..
today modern dance got scolding from cindy zhuang and old yellow..
sigh..
now in the right mood now..
dun understand why some people just cant put in their effort..
all they know its slacking..
dun you guys know syf is in 3 weeks..
i mean 3 WEEKS!!!..
any sense of urgency???

pls guys..
look at the future..
if we can get double gold,
we will outshine track once again..
prove to them man..
that not only they can get double champion..
we also can do it de..
not only outshining..
old yellow said he will bring us overseas..
arent you delighted to hear abt that..
though he may not fulfil his promise..
cos 2 years ago he said the same thing, but he dint fulfil his promise..
but still..
if he really mean it this year..
wun it be great.???
ok
maybe i should say..
juniors..
lets do it as one..
not just for yourselves, but for the seniors as well..
its our last year in dance..
if you guys gonna miss us. then do your ultimate best with us..
dance can sure do the skol proud de...
must prove to old yellow..
that we can get the gold with honours..
or rather wad he pronounce as "ghost with honour"
hahz..
gambatte...

hmm... so gonna schrew myself up..
haven completed studying chem ,chinese and maths..
will have test one week 1..
and i haven finished my hw..
howhow???
think i gotta push myself to do by tonight..
by hook or by crook..

feeling of the week: sick of life.. but still.. gotta move on.. upset, cant explain fully to you..
sigh... if there's really fate..
probably lg or wj will tell you ba..
=( they are the 2 people i trust other than you

pig..
you so cute..
hahz..
thanks for flooding me today ya??
and i flooded yours too..
hahz..
hmm... big bully!!!
you're not normal bully lor..
hazh..
bully me de..
say when you see me again wan me to drink lime juice..
eeeee..
wanna see my sour face ah??
me dun like sour stuffs lei..
but why choose lime...
yuck..
ahzh...
anyway you're not feeling too well ya??
rest well..
hmm..
notti bro of yours..
go sentosa for bbq, never look after you..
ahzh
sigh..

anyway was talking to lg kor..
he said you just gave me the wrong signal
well..
wad he says kinda make sense..
al you wanted was the trust i had in you..
why dun you just say it???
why beat round the bush
i know you cant tolerate me..
but if you can name it, i can do it..
understand??/
and in the 1st place if you wanted my trust, why did you wana make me lose my trust in you
i dun have a wee bit left..
all the trust i had in you have already shattered together with my heart..
if its others, i wun trust them anymore..
but i actually wanted to trust you again..
the fact that i like you..
sigh..

just dun understand why you wanna help me again,
just cos you think you're destroying my life..
if its not destroying my life, you wun even bother abt me right?
if thats the case, consider my feelings can..
must you hurt me again???
if its not.. why must you help me not cos you think its your resposiblilty but on your own account???
if you think its your resposibility, i wun ever wanna trust you ever again..
so wad if i like you deeply, you never felt it b4..
others know, but you dun..

you never given me the chance..
even when i suddenly gave the red light..
i never had the chance to explain fully..
sigh..
like wad kor said..
its a big big misunderstanding..
but its enough to cos me into misery..
understand ma??
i know you will read this entry..
not now but soon..
i'm not ashamed to let everyone know..
but just that those who read abt this will know how much i like you..
just that you are the only one who doesnt..
and those who read all the post, wun think you're a loser..

i just wanna say you're really great..
hahz..
hmm.. if in the past like wad you 1st post to me in friendster..
being seen picking after cow really hulmilates you??
do you care abt wad others think, or do you care abt your feelings???
i dun mind waiting for you..
but its whether will you give me a chance..
i know you wun..
its alright with me..
but i just wan you to know, i'll support in all your decision..

i just hope from tmr onwards, i wun wanna post abt you anymore..
since you're not goona keep up with me anymore..
its time for me to try put you down..
life can be meaningless..
but i know without you, there are many pple still supporting me
encouraging me..
even your bro..
takecare

today had dance till 4.30
then went rose house bathe and had dinner..
then we went to hcjc for soonsoon's concert..
hahz..
not so bad i should say..
hahz..
hmm..
came home then used the com..
is this the worst day i should get??
you cant keep up with me and you dun feel like it anymore???
well.. i cant stop you..
but you jolly well know wad i said is different from wad i think..
i know you mean it, everyword you said you mean it..
does it mean, you're not gonna bother me le??
[heart's shattered again]

are you really gonna leave me just like that??
looks like i made a great great mistake by saying that..
i know its too late to regret..
cos nothing could change the fact..
but if i knew this would be the outcome...
i wun even dare say it..
sigh....
i hate this outcome..
really hate it...
but wad can i do??
nothing just to accept the fact and silently bid him farewell???
sigh..
feel like crying le..
but i know i cant..
i should give up on you and totally not think of you..
but i just cant..
really cant..
the fact i like you, i cant give you up...
let alone try forgetting you...
your image just appear in my mind whenever i stop doing anything..
or even in my dreams...

but why in my dreams everything appear so nice.. but its not the same as reality???
really wan those in my dreams to come true..
really really want...
sigh..
but it wun ever happen anymore..

must you really leave???
dun leave me can???

ks... reallly sorry..
dint mean to say red light..
but i really think i shouldnt be adding to your burden load..
the only i can really for you is to be more considerate to you..
i know you're very stress le..
so i will feel better if i dun add load to you
but just wished you could lend me a shoulder when i need it..
or rather the green light when i really cant make it without you.
without you.. life is a piece of blackness...
there will be no life at all..
you are impt to me... really really impt to me
though i cant bear to give the red signal, i cant help it..
gotta sort my feelings again...
a sudden mixed feelings..
sigh..

can only tell you, as much as i waited for the other person for 6 years, i can also wait for you as long as that or even longer..
just dun forsake me..
you're the best kor i have..
hope your door will be open for me next time..
sorry kimura shun..

ok...
there's a mistake made in the last relay..
non-syf members..
there will be no dance this week...
hahz.. paiseh..
hmmm... lan guan kor..
hazh... your blog so nice lei..
finally blog le...
hazh...
yay!!! thanks for making the promise to me..

*^*a heart is like a mirror. Once a mirror shatters, you can never find all the pieces to put it back together, how it was before. Without all the pieces to your heart, you cannot fully love someone. It will never be the same as it was before*^*If who i am- is what ppl see- then that is not the real me- i am who i am not because of what i have but because of who i am inside*^*

hmm.. extract from ben..
hahz.. love it..
hahz.. quite true too

non syf dance people...
i think tere will be dance for you guys on thurs...
based on wad charlotte has told me..
most probably its from 8-12pm..
yup.. take note

today i kinda enjoyed my day..
hahz..
morning kena bluffed by the birthday "boy"- my uncle to go his house at 9..
cos he said start journey to suntec at 9..
in the end IT show, book show, Branded sales, wedding fair..
all haven open..
so we do nothing there until 11 i think..
ahhz.. kinda interesting..
suntec had some cheerleading competition..
hahz..
so b4 the whole thing starts, there a group practicing and attracting attention there..
but i gotta say.. they are good man..
superb..
hahz..
the gals all got packs de..
hahz..
but the way they did the pyramids, they seem to be flying like some weightless creatures..
hahz..
hmm...
and the way they count...
so cute..
hahz..
hmm..
they went to some indonesian restaurant to have buffet..
hahz... indo gamelan songs...
so nice..
hahz..and the food..
zhan4 bu4 jue2 kou3..
hahz..
too good to be true..
birthday boy treated..
hahz...
hmm... ah ma said it was really ahrd to book the place there..
cos its always full..
hazh..
finally then..
hahz..
then ding dong..
12pm yay!!! IT show's open..
hahz... we went there to take a look..
wah... like sadins..
hahz.. .hardly can breathe..
hahz... no need to move also de... the crowd will naturally push you forward..
i was with ben all the while..
we held each otehr in a train format.. hahz... too many pple le..
then cannot lose him... cos my fone the batt just nice went flat..
hahz... so we squeeze our way to the creative side..
to see the kinda mp3 i wanna get..
hahz.. .they are all so beautiful..
hahz... ben asked me to get creative zen micro...
not bad la..
but dun wanna be same as shi hui..
hahz.. and i kinda like creative muvo micro instead..
ahz... next week's creative fair..
probably i will use my own money buy ba..
hahz..=)
after 2pm... we got out of suntec..
fredric called asking us to wait for him..
cos he's on the way down..
hahz..
ben said bye to him instead..
think he's disappointed ba..
hahz...
hmm.. so cute..
anywya talk abt fredric, still remember the time we go play.
then he look like some pro... but skills ah..
worst then ben..
hahz... poor him.. always lose money de... =(
ook... after suntec
wanted to go empress place..
but ah ma and birthday boy said that side must pay de..
then they dun wanna go..
so in the end never go..
sigh..
went back to ah ma's house..
rested for a while..
hahz..
at ben's house the swimming pool there got so many pple swimming.. so we see them swim..
then got this guy so funny..
instead of swimming back stroke, he kinda swam back frog stunns..
so funny..
they out of a sudden ben went to shout " mr frog"
argh.. throw my face man..
hahz...hmm... kena bluff by xiao ping jie again..
say wanna go play p**l... in the end pang seh..
lucky we never say go 1st..
ahz..
if not go there waste money..
hahz..
then 5.30 le... i go boon keng liaox... sianx...
hahz... lucky ms wee never complain..
but said i improve in my playing..
ahz... but still, i know i play like shit..
hahz.. think i gota buck up ba..
everything's not up to my standard..
=( this hols wun be a hols to me..
gotta slog all the effort i got to study..

hmm... kinda feeling pissed today..
1st is with jude kor..
then its with skol
wads the point of a kor claiming me as his mei..
when the next he only say hannah is his only close sibling??
err..
then wad am i to you??
argh...
forget it..
your jie is more impt than anyone else..
but dun forget, your jie is not only your jie..
she's also my jie..
then skol;..
bloody hell la..
all take me as transparent de..
ask me to help diao1 you guys..
then in the end scold me for diaoing..
wth la..
so wad if you're the vp of dance..
i'm still your senior lor..
at least show respect can not??
if you wanna ask me diao.. pls hor..
i ask for simple things to be done well..
not like you..
looks ok mean its good..
pui man..
at this rate..
sure lop only...
if you know wads that..
bleah..


feeling pissed... daoed her for the rest of dance lesson..
if you noticed i slamed the door right in front of your face..
dint control music for you..
i'm not your slave.. bear this in mind..
err....

hey guys... uploaded some pics le... go take a look...
have to chiong for guzheng then to skol for dance..
=)
peeps from cat high.. jia you... for today's homecoming..
and fun fair too...
wun be going to your skol anymore... =)
unless its something sent by the skol...
hahz... which i dun think such thing will ever happen
bye peeps.. i'm off now

i shall have a make a comparison here between ks and cow..
sorry cow.. i called you that cos it reminds me of the cow you had at home...
hmmm...
its kinda true i still haven get over cow
but ya... as much as cow like someone now..
i cant really do anything right???
hahz... well... cow still my buddy ba???
hahz... and if i were to choose cow or ks..
its ks le..
no more cow..
hahz..
cos ks is more impt in my life..
as for why, my previous entry has already stated the fact..
cow... i just wanna say...
gambatte...
dun regret by not telling her..
you may not know if she likes you or not..
if she likes you too, yet you never say a word to her,
then its just your lost..
this is like gambling ba..
the risk is either to be accepted or rejected..
not much harm can be done..
nothing can be accomplished without effort being put in...
you will have my support..
hahz..
as much as she is impt to you now, ks is also impt to me...

green light? red light? where's the orange light?

today last day of skol..
got back ppr..
just as wad i told ks...
affected by him...
results arent good too...
those subjects that ought to get A1 or A2..
only got C5
after all this term isnt a very good term for me..
well...now i got admit wad mum said was right..
ever sicne i know the cat high guys..
standards have been dropping..
its so sad right??
hazh..
partially cos i know the boys ba..
cant really balance my time well with associating with them and coping with my studies..
hahz..
you think i guy crazy??
eh.. i dun think so...
not a desperado ba..
hahz... cos i can give my heart to one person at a time..
hahz..
and now it only contains someone..
hahz..
hmm...
thanks for relighting my life again...
its starting to shine from the darkness..
thanks for accepting the green light i asked for instead of saying the red light...
dun leave me again hor..
i cant take that blow de..
hmm..
if the time can fly back..
i will do my outmost to prove to you my worth..
but sigh..
i wanna trust you 100% again..
but i need more time..
anyway thanks alot for starting to show concern for me again..
just wan you to know...
wadever you do... i will always remember de..
will appreciate wad you do for me..
arigato..
like wad i told you b4..
aishiteru..
you're the person i really put my heart down for..
its only you who can really cheer me up..
its also you who really makes me sad..
but i know i never really cry for you..
=)
you're my xin mu zhong de bai ma wang zi ba..
but just that we dun have much fate ba.
the only fate we got is meeting each other and becoming siblings...
=) i'm very grateful for that..
thanks...

my slogon..

pearly-See the Face You Love Light Up With Pearly.

kimura reiko- Simple Impartial Kimura Reiko.

this is so cool... go find out wads yours...
http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan

feeling veyr very terrible..
fail chem nvm..
but all lan guan's effort was actually wasted on me..
its good to help you revise..
but somehow i made you stay till so late..
feel very sad..
i'm not a good student right???
you teach so long.. yet after all...
still fail..
sigh..
then no mood to dance..
told my teacher... i got back problems again..
tchr believe ... ahzh... cos i injured my back again..
then they thought my old injury is back ago..
then dint dance at all..
was feeling down the whole day after chem...
err... chem tchr was suggesting we drop down to combine...
err... over my dead body..
like all of us will drop...
nah..
if drop, there goes my future
hmm.. should i learn to appreciating you from now onwards..
or should i ask you not to enter into my life again???
i really dunno..
you tell me ba...

let me make myself clear...
i'm very affected by you...
dun worry... you're not ruining my life..
its how i chose it..
life have been different since the day i know you...
so be glad..
cos its you that i found my happiness...
real happiness...
nothing is ever your fault..
and you're not a lousy person...
just to let you know...
wad past is past..
nothing can change back to the past...
why all of a sudden the change towards me...
you arent liddat b4...
just forget it la...
kimura shun is always my bro...
but the old one's in my heart forever..
as for the kimura shun now,
i feel very distant from you...
did you ever know that???

i really wanna forget you...
but how??
even though i'm so dertermined,
i cant really do it..
my heart's really shattered..
do you know that??
i know you will feel anything for me..
you wun wanna know..
neither will you bother..
really different from the past..
why???
RETURN THE OLD YOU TO ME!!!
sigh..
now.. i can let time control my feelings..
and wanna try locking up my heart..
but its not easy..
probably you leaving me by myself is a good thing ba..
i really got nothign to say..
dun wanan do anythign except crying...
cry all out..
then i will be able to forget you le..

sayonara... kimura shun..

cried yesterday..
was very very upset..
cos of one news...
someone likes someone from sngs..
of all skols sngs..
never thought of how i would feel...
sigh.. forget it...
i cant stop you too..
at least i dint like someone from your skol..
not now anymore...

jude kor was right..
perhaps god planned a better guy for me...
better than both of you..
you 2 are just someone who will pass by and leave a footprint in my life..
i shouldnt shed my tear over you..

i once thought you are the best kor in the world...
one who will console me wadever the cost is...
but now different le...
you cant be bothered abt me le.. right???
sigh...

i wished i really had a kor like you...
sigh...
now looks like jude treats me more like my real brudda....

this post is esp for lan guan..

gee... kor.. thanks got stying up so late with me ..
think we both slept around 3am ba..
really thansk alot for teaching my chem...
as you know i'm really hopeless in electrolysis..
thanks for being so patient with me
hahz...
1st a nice gentlemen that send me so far back then travel back to the original destination...
=)
touched..
sigh..
hannah jie was saying you're so cool...
can do break dance..
hahz..
next time you show me your break dance, must show my jie too...
=)
my jie is jude's jie too... ben's ex..
think you should know them le ba..
hahz... hmm...
then she say you're so good to me...
unlike her , no one good to her, except for jude and me...
hahz... then say i must appreciate you this wonderful kor..
hahz..
hmm... like wad i told her, i will appreciate you de...
i've lost the chance of appreciating 2 great guys...
wun wanna lose any more chance le..
thanks alot ya..
great knowing you...
kor... ask you ah... how you can tolerate me until so long ah??
you never puke blood de ah???
hahz... hope you dint sleep in class today..
if you sleep , then me feel guilty...
hahz... and you're super super lame...
ask me sms you when you fall asleep... hahz..

anwyay your sports day you taking part in it?
hahz... if you take part tell me hor...
i sure go see you..
hahz..
jkjk..
anwyay my skol sports day wanna come??
p.s.. calling to all those who are interested in going to our sports day...
come if you wanna join in the fun..
hahz... support red house too... though its not a very good house...
haz..
anyway ya.. kor... i'm in back up as well as i participate in the heats..
but dunno will get into those events not..
hahz..
haven actually gone for the try outs..
hahz.. if i get into 4x100 then pray that i will enter finals..
hahz..
then wun have to stand with the contingent...
hahz... dun like standing with the whole cohort under the hot sun...
weak body.. no choice..
hazh... gee... me long-winded again.. hahz... shall stop here...

i'm feeling so down....
really wanna forget him... but i simply cant..
dunno why..
probably like him too deep le ba..
=(
i dun mind doing anything just to forget him...
remembering him really hurts me a hell lot..
esp when my heart was healed by him, yet broken by him too..
sigh..
i really dunno wad to do..
shoudl be concentratin in Os now..
i just cant..
its affecting me really really badly...
=(
sigh..
i can do nothign but sigh..
if i can really disappear, you wun have so much trouble le...
i'm nothing but a troublemaker..
in short i loser..
can never do anythign well...
not even capturing the heart of the person i like
, neither can i treasure a relationship well..
sigh... if not you wun appear in fron of me...
i despise myself so much...
just wanna get over with it..
if best probably dying is the fastest issue..
sigh=(

today nice day..
hahz..
was awoken by lg's sms..
kor.. you wake up chao early lei..
hazh...
then went back to sleep... oh... not only lg wake up so early..
felicia also...
wah..
pple i wanna sleep de lei..
hahz..
sigh..
then went back to sleep until 9...
woke up to go for guzheng...
den go to skol..
in heels..
alread had one blister...
but today dance without shoes again...
haiyo...
then 3 other blisters appear under my sole of the feet...
pain man..
den went to rosie's house for a shower and dinner..
her dad fetched us down to victoria..
thanks uncle..
hmm...but b4 that, my feet was really really hurting me..
so put plasters..
ouch...
then wore the heels...
not so bad..
at vt, saw all dance horizon pple..
the only pple i spoke to was friends from regent, kent ridge...
as for the guys...
only zhi cheng..
hahz..
he helped me and rosie take pic..
hazh..
den after that me and rose abit zi lian...
hahz..
so funny...
walked and take pics.
then past by sooooo many couples, kissing and hugging each other..
hahz..
then we were eating ice-cream..
so we faster xiam...
hazh..
loved the senery..
hazh..
then saw alot of teenage pple there..
so was wondering if i could so heng see wh..
but obviously dint la..
hahz..
oh..
there was a band playing there..
hahz..
had the bass guitar and dunno electric guitar and the drum set..
so cool..
hahz..
but dint stay for long..
hahz..
we went to the roof or soem fresh air..
then a while later go home le..
really enjoyed this 2 days.
but cant really enjoy too much..
cos i know i need to study real hard..
harder than anyone else..
if i wanna get into RJC or TJC..
sigh...

today was a really really fun fun day..
hahz..
skol..
nothing really much happened..
except for the fact when the 11.30 bell rang,
i was quite sad..
kinda stuck in the chem lab while cat high got early dismissal..
sigh..
nvm..
okok..
after skol..
best man..
i chiong home taking a cab..
so that can meet lan guan kor in time..
hahz... supposed to meet at 3.30..
but somehow we met at 4 ...
hahz... nearly couldnt recognise him..
hahz.. hmmm..
he met me at chua chu kang..
so near my house..
hahz..
to play p**l. hahz...
so fun..
win him the few games we played..
hahz... then a while later ben and jude arrived after shatec..
hahz..
so cool..
jude always say he play so lousy..
kaoz la... play until so pro...
then both ben and jude keep bullying lg...
sigh...
paiseh kor..
cant really defend you...
the only i can do is ask them to shut up and not use vulgarities in front of you..
oh... tickle and pinch them too... hazh..
anywya glad you had a lot of fun..
=)
anyway yup..
was kinda late when we ate our dinner..
cos we gotta chiong..
hahz..
then guessed you will eat jap food..
wah... really bei wo cai zhong...
hahz...
okok... then ate with jude..
ben had to go pick our niece...
hahz..
after dinner .. CHIONG AH..
took cab..
then called malisa for directions to LT2..
finally found it..
really envy the students in there man...
skol's chao big..
really big big big..
their "atrium", wad we called the forum... its like 3 to 4 times larger than st nicks forum...
hazh
the performance is really great..
hhaz...
me and lg kor was totally amazed...
J1 students can play so well...
whao...
then we were whispering...
hahz
so fun fun fun..
hahz..
then when the thing ended... lg could have taken a bus home form bishan..
but he dint..
hahz..
so nice... see me to cck then he go back bishan..
cool..
thanks kor..
you're indeed a real gentlemen..
=)
and thanks for the wonderful day...
=)

cool... today got good news, yet bad news..
good news is that all the guys from harbin that got back results today,
er ge and kor all get As for their chinese..
its worth celebrating..
but the sad news is that zc dint get wad he wanted..
so kor was saying he was sad and dint talk..
kinda feel sad for him..
and feels that i'm at fault for his "not so good" results..
sigh...
dunno why feel sad over his results la..
but i think since its done, there arent anything we can do abt it..
should focus on my test which is coming in 2 days time..
sigh...
just got the verification slip for O level today..
and got the dates too..
so gonna be dead..
my very 1st paper is on 30th may..
then after that 4th nov.. not fair lor..
other pple start on 7th, we start on the 4th.. sigh
nvm..
and i got exams that clashes with one another..
hahz.. never seen a slip that includes so many * for clashing of dates..

hmm... skol's atmosphere isnt that good today..
though all our jie jie men came back... before getting back results... everyone was still smiling and playing around..
but when the results are out..
it is a dramatic change..
most of our skol pple were crying..
be it good or bad results..
sigh..
hmm... den heard a little of the announcements..
dunno wad thing out of 18 subjects, 14 of the subjects got 90% passes with dunno wad grade..
and a few subjects had 100% passes...
mep is included as well.. hahz..
but i heard something like 4 person in last year's batch failed the O level..
dunno true or not..
hope its not..
sigh..

after all.. its a bad day to even continue...
dint really have lessons today...
only in the morn..
lg..
sorry... dint know you only gotten back at 2... so i called...
paiseh..
was feeling chao worried for all your results... esp ks's one..
but really glad..
hahz...

zc.. cheer up k??
no matter wad... you've got your buddy[me]
so if you need a shoulder, can come look for me... =)
cheers...
dun be gloomy or wadsoever..
unlike you...

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