today whole body ached..
hahz..
it working..
hahz...
hmm... went to skol from 7.30 to 9.30..
cooll..
first day of counselloring..
enjoyed..with all the excos..
hahz..
then went to see doctor..
hahz..
since so near library..
went to borrow books..
hahz..
then walked past all cafe..
looked inside and recalled how we used to be there on sat..
then after borrowing the books i want..
walked the same path which we used to walked..
the time taken seem longer than b4..
cos you're not by my side..
sigh...
remembering how you tease me when i'm on the phone with my mum
saying so loudly that i smoked..
hahz..
though it was only a joke..
hazh..
the journey this time was really long..
hahz..
walking this pathway brings back memories..
but i still prefer to walk..
hoping that one day i will see you there again for me..
but you will never be there anymore..

dance during the holidays finally come to an end
today time really past slowly...
hahz..
after having a long dance it was like only 3 when we checked the time...
wah..
but the feeling was like it was alr 4 plus..
hahz..
today's dance is the best among all the hol dance...
hahz..
had some 3 partner work..
and i was the one to carry my dance mate..
other than me there are other partners that carry their dance mate too...
hahz..
den we split into pairs..
me carry again..
hahz...
who says gals cant do all these..
looks sngs is doing it..
hahz..
hmm...tehn had small meeting with feng lao shi for performing class..
wah...
it will be a long sun..
cant go shalom le..
hahz..
dance will be from 9-2pm..
pro man..
can dance till i drop..
hahz..
but den, it will be interesting..
cos it means..
we'll be performing soon..
hahz..
chinese new year maybe the dirst performance..
hahz..
love performing..
hahz.
can show my talents..
bleah...
show off kia you will say..
but according to susan lim, its a rare chance where you can show your talents...
=)
so shall be glad..
hahz..
hmm...
skol's reopening in few days..
hahz... how???
i dun wanna go skol...
lost the interest in studying..
this is the second time i lost interest in a year..
sigh..
if only the key was found...
key to studying and to my heart..
hahz..

mick, not saying you're lousy..
hahz..
paiseh lei...

i suddenly felt the pierce in my heart..
good to you for finding your key...
really glad..
i know no matter wad i do,
i can never replace her anymore..
it hurts though..
yet i have to smile to him..
sigh..
dun repeat your mistake again by neglecting her le..
i cant do anything...
but as long as you're happy,
i will feel happy too...
you've found your key...
but i've locked my heart..
guess i wun find my key anymore ba..
you taught me to locked my heart..
but never taught me to find my key..
sigh..
all the best..
*shed tears*

just realised that i'm kor and jie precious sista..
hahz..
hmm... jie thanks for writing me in your blog
jie knows everything le..
write in her blog... sigh...
i must try not to mention him le..
cos if i mention him again, tears will roll again
shed enough tear..
hahz.. more than zc that ba..
hahz.. =)
but wadver the case is, at least i know when i'm feeling down
i'm still smiling..
faces and mask..
this really suit me man..
hahz..
anyway
i'm just drowning myself with all my work and dance..
in order to forget you..
since you wanted me to forget you by saying all the harsh things to me,
without giving me the chance, i shall fulfil ba..
wadever it takes, i will try forget you..
but memories are always memories..
i wanna sleep in my dream.
then i can always be with you..
sigh..
anyway shall drop the subject cos i know you'll never come in here anymore..
sigh
mick... can i make my b'dae wish 1st??
make my wish come through can?
i wanna see you either this fri or my b'dae.. which is next week i think...
can??? at least b4 skol reopen?
cos i really wanna know who i've been talking all this while.
long le lei..
hahz..
whether with friend or not, just let me know who you are ba..
cos alot of pple whom i know know you liaox..
yup..
the fact we dun really know you well.. they keep asking me to stay away from you..
yup..
so b4 i stay away from you, show me who you really are..

when christmas comes to town.

i wishing on a star,
and trying to believe
that even though its far
he'll find me christmas gift
i guess that santa's busy
cos he's never come around
i think of him when christmas comes to town

the best time of the year
when everyone comes home
with all this christmas tear
it hard to be alone
putting up the christmas tree
with friends you come around
its so much fun when christmas comes to town

presents for the children
packed in red and green
all the things i've heard abt
but never really seen
no one will be sleeping on
the night of christmas eve
hoping santa's on his way
(X2)

when santa's slave's bell ring
i listen all around
the herald with angels sing
i never hear a sound
all the dreams of children
who lost and now be found
thats all i want for christmas comes to town
thats all i want for christmas comes to town

after all i had done..
trying to mix with alot of pple..
flirt you can say?
but i just cant forget you..
really i cant..
even if i try concentrating on my work and not think of you..
but the moment i stopped, i will think of you without even knowing..
sigh...
were you trying to say those words to me to make me forget you?
let me tell you ba, its impossible..
really impossible..
cos the fact i like you more than him..
and that i also dun wish others to say you're picking up after him..
sigh..
why block me and everything?
dun you ever realised its childish and useless... ????

just come back from brother lawrence's house...
had thanksgiving at his house..
so qiao... ben used to stay there..
went at 6 lidat..
met brother lawrence and brother alan at clementi mrt..
then brother alan brought us there..
cos lawrence had to go home first while we went to buy ice..
hahz..
had games session.. singing session..
prizegiving session..
feast session..
had alot of food..
but all of us managed to eat quite a lot..
finished most of the food..
hahz..
then took photos too...
had gp photo too..
but not very complete.. cos we had nobody else not from the cell gp to take for us..
hahz...
but stil ..very happy..
feel very close and warm towards n139..
somehow.. better than youth from shalom..
sorry pple..
but pple from my cell gp is really like my family..
they are pple who makes me more at home than shalom pple..
i'm not saying shalom's not good..
the adults from shalom are very nice...
like my mother and father..
but the young adults from city harvest are like my brothers and sistas...
my 3rd family..
anw will be posting the photos up in no time..
hahz..
got a shocked when i heard samq from e190..
hahz.. was wondering why zc and her same same one..
then realised that its tze wei bring them in..
hahz..
to samq: hey fellow chinese rep.. me not mistaken you2 lei..
hahz... why be afraid that i might be mistaken that you 2 together..
hahz.. whether you're with him or brudda, i cant do anything..
cos i'm no longer with him...
hahz
to mick: if only i can know who you are b4 skol starts..
if you dun mind, wanna join me to city harvest on fri[31st]??
hope you can..
its not with my friends..
dun worry..
those pple i dun really know well...then can count down together..
hope you can make it..
dun disappoint me again..
if not then the next possible day is the following week liaox.. moi b'dae..
but moi b'dae i may be celebratin with my friends...
why dun wanna let me know you when i'm with my friends???
shy meh? cannot be wad.. you guy woh... hahz
to cell gp n139: i just wanna say a big thank you for maing my christmas a wonderful and meaningful christmas...
never though i would have another family on christmas day... =)
thanks guys... luv you lots...
will join you'll to city harvest when i can make it...
if not i will change my piano to join you guys... thanks for the thanksgiving today..
special thanks to julia, martin, haohann, and sista yvonne...

today went out of house at 9am..
ben and i went to indoor...
for city harvest celebration..
hahz..
from there know martin, julia, sista yvonne, alan
and alot of other fellowship..
hahz...
first when i went, got a shock..
the atmosphere wasnt like going to church celebration but some concert..
hahz..
even during the singing...
everyone just clap their hands as they sing with the band...
then got hip hop pple..
those that performed in the orchard parade road show..
this will be their last performance..
hahz..
and thoday those media pple came to film the celebration..
saying it will be broadcasted in ya zhou and 3 other countries or continent..
hahz..
thengot short skit..
hazh...
hmm...after that than said some prayer then we went to suntec for lunch..
hahz..
oh..before that... forgot to say..
saw ernie at the otehr end of the stadium...
hahz..
so qiao..
anw.. pple... i have a cell gp now..
hahz...
n139...
hahz..
same as jie and ben...
hahz..
then after lunch, me and ben went towards jurong...
i meet junqin at jurong while ben go home..
hahz... junqin was trailing me from traffic light..
hazh..
but lost me.. hahz..
paiseh..
me dint see.
hahz..
den after that went to ice-skating rink..
hahz..
so embrassed..
changed the shoe 2 to 3 times...hhaz..
jq...dun laugh la..
you say you dunno how to skate..
bluff me..
skate until so pro..
hahz..nearly make me fall somemore..
aiyo..
hahz..
anwyay so qiao also ah..
you see your wushu and ats pple..
hahz...
anwyay thanks for seeing me home...
and at the same time get your presentfrom me...
:)
hahz..
as for samq's question..
hahz...
samq... next time be more zhi jie. ask me or jq la..
why ask ren jie?
hahz..
junqin and me ah??
quite close la..
but not wad you think...
hahz..
he's just like a gan gege to me..
yup..
hahz..
thats why close lor..
anyway...dun xiang wai..
i got my own sweetheart and darling liaox..
hahz... :)

anyway mick... dispoointed..
dint get to see you...
thougt can see you either yesterday or today..
in the end not even on these 2 days..
sigh..
hahz..
okok..
now at home..
gonna start doing hw..
hahz..

just came home from church presentation... hahz..
today is really an enjoyable day..
have some sense of achievement too..
did some maths hw despite the distractions ben and cedric gave me..
hahz.. then was hearing eminem's song..
full of F*** and B**** word... hahz...
filty... hahz.. then choing down to pasir ris.
in the correct top but not the bottom...
hahz...
was wearing jeans...
then during dinner then change to my new skirt and heels..
hahz... hmm... some youths looked at me in some funny way again...
hello??? you guys see me lidadt b4 wad...
wore my new contacts.. hahz..
then half way the thing came out..
had to put it back without a mirror... hahz...
not so bad... hahz... skills improved.. hahz..
then tricia so nice.. give me prezzie... and alot more..
but then it made me feel guilty... cos i dint have time to prepare any..
sigh..
:(
anyway choir was not too bad..
hahz..
hensley, august and shawn...
you guys sing the solo 3 damn nice..
but then again.. august shouldnt have used the mics...
voice too zai liaox... hahz
anwyay finally know how henz's voice sound like..
hahz... usually couldnt tell...
hahz... paiseh...

tmr's christmas...
unfortuantely, i wun be spending the day with my loved ones...
i wish you would be with me on this special day.,..
but you wun... cos you just sms me saying you wun be going out..
which means, i will have 0% chances on seeing you...
sigh...
anyway probably going to ice skate with junqin ba..
not sure..
but morning will be going city harvest... then after that
probably go to my club for a game or 2 on bowling with ben...
hahz... if not then will spend my christmas alone this year...
sianx...
anyway my christmas wish is a simple one..
but it will never be granted..
for the fact you sent me that mail...
sigh..
i just wish i could only listen to mick and forget abt you..
but it will never happen..
and you know too that its impossible for me to forget you...
i only hope that you wun say all those just for me to forget you..
dun you feel any pain?
haix...
anyway christMAS meas Merrymaking And Shopping
More Annual Sales
thats like so cool ...hahz..
anyway christmas isnt christmas la...
hahs...
CHRISTMAS SHINES,
COME CELEBRATE JESUS
DING DONG MERRILY ON HIGH
miss these songs..
wun get to sing it le..
hahz..
probably will learn more songs..
hahz...

went back skol today for mep performance..
then after that went to do demo for family dance...
counting the dance steps and singing the dance steps is so diff...
hahz..
i was helping margie,char and nat doing mirror image
cos they can visulise the dance without the song..
hahz..
hmm... then stayed until 11 plus..
then went to central to find junqin...
hahaz..
went touring around amk..
wanted to go suntec.
but in the end neva go..
haiz..
hahz..
then carebear called him to go to our skol for bball..
when we're abt to go home..
so he sent me to mrt then he go home..
hahz..
hmm..
tmr's the eve,,
so trilled..
preentation...
2nd presentation
anyway not sure if gonna meet mick..
either tmr or christmas day..
hahz..
christmas can???
cos if its tmr.. then it will be quite late..
i've got curfew.. :)
if its on christmas day.. i can go out the whole day..
hahz..
yup..

went out today to try forget everything...
slept at 5 plus... then woke up at 8 plus... used the com then went back to sleep...
then met ben at cck at1 . then went ice skating...until 4 plus..
saw this person that looks like er ge..
but not la..
skate until so pro...
between 2 person standing so closly together also can skate thru..
hahaz..
hmmmm.. then fell 3 times..
hahaz..
1 time is kena pushed down.. other 2 times is tripped on others..
hahaz... feel so lan..
but improved liaox...
hahaz..
feel proud of myself...
haaha
then went swimming..
hahaza..
drank alot of water cos i couldnt breathe roperly in the water..
err.. diaox... after a while.. can breathe properly ..
then race myself for freestyle and breast stroke..
my breast stroke deprove...
feestyle still the same..
hhaaz.. win my cousin... hahaz... so glad..
stamina's coming back...
anw gotta go slp liaox...

everything's all gone...
this time you make me really upset..
feelings worse than the previous..
wadi've type is also gone..
you've make me an emotionless gal..
i just wanna tell you, no matter what,
i wun forget you cos its impossible for me to forget you..
and i still like you, or rather love you..
know you wun bother abt me anymore
but then again, i will wanna care for you..
wanna be there when you have bad bad bad headache
takecare ba..
luv ya foreva..
i wun blame you but only myself...
for everyhting, no one else is at fault except me..
whether its my fault or wad, its still my fault..
since the day you gave me cold shoulder, i've become pessimistic..

i think i zhuang qiang bi suan le。
living in such a tough life...
go for exam also kena scolded by dance tchr..
so bu jiang dao li de.
err..
anyway slept during dance today..
friends were all surprised...
ahhz..
all my juniors were like "她睡得好甜啊"
sorry ya???
woke up early
and go for exam in cold sweat.. hahz
the actions really tire me out.
used to luv the dance..
but then stoopid huang went to take the 3 good dancers...
just cos they cant join the dance troupe
whatfhatthefhehellfell...
anyway i'm only looking forward to the costume...
its gonna be nice man...
hahz...

anyway dun ask me abt my exam le..
hate it totally...
feel bad man..
now i'm scared i'll fail again

wadever the case is...
the day is finally over..
luv the night best..
hahz..
after dance, me and mum went to junqin's house..
pass him the com..
hahz..
then we go to parkway, where junqin's gonna have his event there..
so before that.. we went to shop for my red blouse..
hahz..
junqin was there too...
then he helped me choose my blouse..
ahha...
so nice of him...
dint know he's one person who shops too..
hahza..
he's just like a big brother to me..
hahza..
gege help mei mei choose clothes for presentation..
hahz..
then we 3 went to sakae sushi..
haz... ate quite a lot..
hahz... but he never really eat...
hahz..
when entering, reminds me of the last time i went with er ge to amara..
sigh..
those were the days..
hahz..
then after that we went to shop again...
around 8 liddat.. junqin left for his event..
mum and i continued shopping..
bought a ring for myself..
hahz.. so pple...
if you guys see my ring, dun come asking me like wad debbi asked
if i'm attach k??
i'm not..
hahz..
den went shopping for guy's clothings too..
hahaz..
hmm..
for someone...
hmm... quite special to me..
hahza..
he may be my costom god brother..
cos mum got the idea of asking him...
cos she likes him as a son..
so diaox... hahz...
hmm... yup..
hahz..
that time so stoopid..
keep asking me why i dun take him as bf instead..
hello mummy???
you know i like someone de wad..
stoopid ques.. and i got no feel for him..
dun be like wulala...
only treat him as kor kor.. like how kor roy look after me..
hahz..
shant say le..

anyway mick.. still waiting for your reply on christmas day...
hope you can say yes..
then racheland me can meet you le..
hahz...

er ge... i'm still waiting for your email...
dun wanna email den shouldnt have tag my blog lei..
dash my hopes...

yay!!!
today enjoyed the suffering i had for dance..
hahz...
luckily dance dint stretch after 5..
if not i will pull the muscle liaox.. or rather ham string..
hahz...
cos the pain was quite great by 5...
hahz... but somehow when dancing, we dun feel any pain... not a single pain...
hahz... then during our lunch. me and margie had to skip dance
had to go for our mep rehersal...
hahz.. quite shit..
my class was the ah lian in the script..
and i was supposed to qiao my leg onto the table..
hahz... my wong's idea...
then mrs tham dint like the idea..
hahz...
and i'm gonna be the notti one that pushes my friend onto the floor...
hahz..
cool...
den did the indian dance...
finally know how to dance the dance..
stoopid...
must ballerina be in it also???
he's like our tchr duh???
and so enthu ah..
not like us..
ahahz..
then stand at the first row same as us...
kaoz... pai seh man...
hahz... then chiong back for dance..
hahz.. ate during the dance..
thanks kallyn and rose for buying lunch for us...
:)
after 5... dad fetched me down for guzheng..
hahz...
tchr said i improved alot today..
of course must improve la..
tmr my exam lei...
hahz..
then... i think next year my MEP exam will be this song liaox..
lazy to learn new pieces..
hahz..
thinking wads gonna happen after Os..
maybe gonna learn another instru from my tchr..
eith pipa, yang qin, dizi or just vocal..
hahz... :)
exciting year...
anyway mick...
thanks for telling me i'm the 1st you sms...
but den again...
you notti boy... after japan go china...
err... envy you...
hahz...

dun understand why some people say wanna mail but nothing comes...
haiz... anyway had fun talking to wei jie
gosh...
i kinda lost my sense of touch..
dint feel my phone vibrate...
hhaz... hmmm...
yup...
wei jie..
sorry lei...
i'm surprised you're not irritated and everything..
so much diff from you brudda.... hahz.... think if its him, he'll probably blow at his top now...
anyway still thanks..
even though if you passed him the message on the plane..
dun care liaox..
i just hope he wun come and go out of my life just liddat..
:)
i'm only left with 40 mins to surf.. then will be busy till tonight..
sigh...
exam's coming again..
haven been practicing.. and i'm expected to pass this time..
wad the ***k...
ok.. .this time is my fault..
i dun wanna practice...
hahaz.... rather play the piano...
anyway
i guess i dun wanna go to some poeple's website le...
hahaz... so wad if my ex...
everything's over..
like a hell of 4 months..
hahz... pest man..
:(
jie.. so sad today you not going city harvest...
next week then bring me lor..
hahz...
ernie, you can pass me your invitation then... hahz..
think by now, you're alr at city harvest..
somehow with that person.

to that person:
very nice to show off the invitation izzit?
not as if its your perm church..
you've been switching so many..
and btw... i think you're only there cos of the richness of the church
and all the supposedly youths...
gosh..
bu yao lian...

why am i wasting space for this kinda people... crap...
ok... gonna do some packing to church...
i'm just a weirdo who goes to church for choir but not service..
hahz... when i get my bible then i will attend.
provided if it doesnt clash with dance anymore..

dance now is my top priority
followed by skol...
thogh tchr still puts dance as 2nd, in their mind, its alr 1st
cos of the sudden clashes and changes in the dances..
from modern to modern and chinese..
cos lots of good dancers get transferred to chinese..
leaving behind a few seniors from "faces and masks" in modern..
think i can even say who's left behind man..
and wads worst...
jean and joan(the pair of les)
is in modern???
err... like we can stand them...
somemore get in liaox then dun come for dance..
err.... pissed..
DANCE GALS FROM STNICKS... IF YOU SEE THIS, BR REMINDED THAT THERE'S DANCE ON THE 20TH AND 21ST, AND 27TH TO 29TH... BETTER COME!!! OR ELSE....
muahahazdance rawkmuahahaz

today dance had new formations..
so glad to be in modern...
just luv my tchrs and friends..
hahz...
sigh...
but now i'm aching everywhere..
cant walk properly..
even hand has bruise..
hahaz...
hmm... thankgoodness i dint hurt my hamstring this time..
last year remember SYF..
hurt my back..
hope i wun hurt my back again..
today feng lao shi went back early..
for dance horizon rehersal..
dun know why i dun wanna take part..
but got back dance results liaox...
yay!!! got 2nd grade ... commended..
hahz...
so happy..
hahaz... if i'm continuing in horizon..
i'll get to perform , maybe even beggining of next year.
hahz..
so happy..
one of my dream finally come true..
to achieve to get into performing class..
i finally did it..
now next is guzheng exam and school..
gotta start coping with work..
stress man..
but think of it..
without stress, i wun do well..
without stress, i wun be so bonded with the sec 1 dance peeps now..

afterall.. i still have mick to thank..
i really dunno how to thank you..
hahz.. .dun worry too much
i wun take relationships into consideration now..
hahz..
as for us..
after O level then say ba..
leave everything to fate k??
but 1st... if there's fate, i would be able to see you..
hahz..
:)
we just strive for all we can..
ahahz..
hmm... i still got a lot to learn from you..
hahaz.. gotta teach me..
wanna learn alot of things from all the pple i know.. :)
hahz... sounds greedy ya??
hahz... but i'm just another inquistive person...
no choice lor..
who ask me wanna know everything..
understand everything..
hahz...

dance so rawk totally...
argh... giving me headaches..
with all the changes here and there..
first there's chinese dance..
then no more..
and now the skol insist chinese dance..
all the good ones got transferred..
i'm saying, i'm really lousely..
left some good ones behind..
sigh..
but then again..
i'm lucky to be back in modern..
had training from 8 to 5...
subsequently will have more of these..
latest news is tchr wants night dance sessions on weekdays...
probably on wed..
gosh..
after mep then dance..
hahz... hmm... wun mind though..
cos somehow i got my passion for dance again..
wanna put all my concentration on dance and studies and nothing else..
mick... thanks alot ya???
thanks for waiting for me..
i will give you my answer once my competition is over..
pray for me..
that sn dances can get double gold with honours..
:) luv you... hahz...
today...
dint really dance my best..
cos it the day you come back...
was thinking whether you will be back or on the 21st..
wad time and so on..
i miss you alot alot..
but when i know you're back when i just saw my blog,
i got no idea wad to say...
maybe i dun feel like talking to you now...
cos i cant get over with it that on the day you left, you are still angry with me..
at least for your whole entire trip, i was mad and upset at myself..
but there's nothing i can do...
other than,"sorry".

have been quite busy lately..
but still managed to find time to blog..
hmm... received sms from amelia that i'll be counselloring 1G
next year..
yay!!! finally..
thanks jion...
luv moi mummy most..
haz... hmm... okok...
but being a counsellor means i've lesser time for studies..
sigh.. shall have to multi task again..
shall see moi scheldule...
let start off with this week..
13/12-free
14/12- gotta go back skol do dance board
15/12- go back skol for MEP dance rehersal
16/12-free (going to J8 meet jun qin)
17/12-go skol for dance from 8 to 5
then chiong for theory
18/12-dance from 8 to 5
19/12-city harvest(maybe)
chiong for choir at 11
20/12-counsellor meeting from9 to 1
MEP dance full dress rehersal
then chiong for guzheng
21/12-guzheng exam
MEP 2nd full dress rehersal
22/12-counsellor meeting from 8 to 2
23/12-counsellor meeting from 7.15 to 2.
(think accompany the new sec ones ba.. )
at the same time MEP actual performance
24/12- christmas eve presentation-choir
25/12 yay!!! free again... going out for party!:)
26/12-free
27/12- dance from 8 to 5
28/12-dance from 8 to 5
29/12-dance from 8 to 5
30/12-back to skol. wil be with sec ones..

ok.. my packed holiday..
sigh..
hmm... shall blog another day..
going to meet jun qin le... :)

Hey there,
I just found this pretty neat site that is giving away free stuff, such as the new iPod, a miniDV camcorder, a home theater system, a Canon digital camera, or CASH.
It is completely legitimate, and thousands of people have received their products from the free sites so far.
All you need to do is copy the following link into your browser, and follow the simple instructions as you go!
Here is my link:
http://www.tech4free.com/default.aspx?ref=292863

hmm... today...
another sian day..
went to clementi in the morning until afternoon for guzheng..
then go back to the shop..
at night went to parkway parade
to celebrate aunty mei's b'dae..
hahaz...
then at the same time shop for my skirt..
ahaz... bought one at esprit..
hahaz... hmm.. then bought alot of others too..
hahz..
spent around 100 bucks..
hahaz..
hmm..
until late at night..
hahz.. then realised we actually missed the 9pm show..
hahz.. stupid...

ok..this is my 3rd post of the day... hahz... abit alot to say..
hahz... hmmm... later i really got no idea wads gonna happen...
got dance from 3.15 -6...
but choir from 4..
sigh... i wish i dun have to go for choir.. but cannot.. tonight's the presentation..
den also cannot if i dun go for dance...
tomorrow's my exam...
and i still dunno alot of them...
sigh... howhowhow?
gonna split myself into 2 until i'm back in church...
wads worse, i gotta wear the formal thingy immediately after i leave the dance place...
so formal...hahz...
luckily, mum's fetching me..
hahaz.... gotta go prepare thingys now..
going ps b4 i go meet them...

today mick leave for china le... bon voyage..
anyway dunno why he go there for...
just come back from japan not long only..
hahz... hmmm.. haha.. anyone can ask me out...
but see if i'm booked.. hahz..
but sorry mick.. christmas eve me got presentation..
unless you dun mind coming for my presentation then go out lor..
if not then christmas day..
i'll be going out with junqin..
think so..
hahz.. wonder wad time is your flight...
if its at night.. maybe can send you off..
hahz.. cos i'll be at pasir ris...
anyway take care ya?
dun be sad... you will still come back wad..
hahaz.. dun miss me too much too! hahaz.. jkjk...
but serious, you will be disappointed if missing someone too much
but only to find out that person dun reallly miss you at all...

yay!! yesterday was a nice day... went out od the house at 1 plus... go orchard to meet junqin and jun wei..
hahaz... but reached too early.. so went to find jion..
saw him serving and taking order..
hahz... cool boi..
but dunno how to go in..
so decided to wait for junqin to help..
hahz... then went to see clothes...
saw a lot of nice ones... but somehow, not my taste..
hahaz... den met junqin..
hahz.. went to find jion and give him the present..
hahz.. intro junqin to him..
he kinda looked blur when he saw me..
hahz... hmm... then we go find jun wei and his friend at mos..
den go HMV.. bought rimi natsukawa's cd for mum..
hahz... wanted to buy cd for myself...
but dunno wad to buy..
junqin so nice ah...accompany me to HMV.. hahaz.. then help me hold my stuffs too.. :)
then we went to cine for movie.. hahaz..
dun really know wad show.. but its that paddle show.. hahz..think its without a paddle..
hahz...
hmm... show's not too bad..
hahz... bought 2 popcorns and 2 drinks to share... hahz... jun wei and his friend shared, me shared with junqin..
hahz... jq, your taste buds got prob ah??
so salty tell me sweet... hahaz...
hahz... then we go kim seng to bowl.. cos from junqin, cine's bowl has already closed..
hahz... junwei dint know how to bowl... den got a lot of pattern one..
for his friend, not so bad la... but soon if he everyday go to the same place and same lane to bowl, there will be a hole..
hahaz... junqin.. chao taico...
hahaz... not so bad...
but the 1oth ball... abit not need to bowl lor... all the pins just drop without bowling... so get a spare strike ..
hahaz...
me?? hahaz... shant say.. bowl until like shit..
never beat my best record..
hahz..
den after that we went opp to great world..
hahaz.. hmm.. bought 3 christmas socks..
then junwei and his friend left. left me and junqin..
so since we're all going back to orchard to take bus, we were together until we split..
ahhaz... walked the whole of great world..
hahz... he kinda went shopping with me la.. hahz..
he knew i need black today..
so we were shopping for clothes..
den he this say not nice, that also not nice..
hahz.. ex too..
hahz.. den we went to see clothes for him too..
hahaz.. picked a few casual wear for him...
hahz... he looks not bad in it...
just that the clothes abit big.. hahz..
hmm.. den talked abt everything we could think of ..
hahz... hmm.. went cold sstorage, wanted to buy stuffs..
den realised that he's similar to ben..likes to cook..
but he could find wad he wanted..
so we push a trolley with only one item...
hahz... then was like was like near 8..
so we decided to go home..
waited for bus 75 to come..
den drop near tanling mall... and we saved money by walking..
hahz.. initially got lost.. then we found our way again..
hahz... hmmm... we were talking abt liquor..
den he said he dun mind treating me on christmas eve,.. but me got presentation..
so christmas instead.. since both of us got no one to spend the day with..
hahz... he dint wanna go orchard.. hahz.. .its like a place for couples to him..
esp on any occasion..
hahz.. hmmm.. then continued talking and walking till we reached the same bus stop..
hahaz..
after i reached home not long.. den talked to him..
sorry ya jq??
my com wasnt working well to check for you results..
hahaz... anyway you never teach me how to check.. hahz...

jie.. me talk to jun jie already..
hahaz... hmm... he's so nice..
hahz.. no wonder you like him..
hahaz... not very flirt la..
hahaz.. he say you very very good gal..
but dunno why he dun like you..
you so nice...
sigh...
nvm.. kor dun like you, mei mei here like you k?
hahaz... hugs..
dun be so sad ya???
hahaz... though both of us are equally sad over the guys we like...
but lets strive even harder ya??
takecare jie..

hahaa.. in exactly one months's time, i'll be 16..
then can see NC16 shows..
hahaz.. so trilled..
this morning 12am..
something wonderful happened...
haz... hmmm..
jw actually asked me be his stead..
you steady..
at 12am..
hahaz..
hmm... how to put it ?
hmmmm... he was so sincere... hahaz..
but somehow, we got no feel
then funnily become stead..
hahaz..
i dun regard him as my bf lei..
small boy maybe..
hahaz..
or maybe brudda..
hahaz... unless one day i'm touched ba..
but currently i'm only thinking abt probably 1 or 2 person..
one has already left..
another is leaving..
hahaz..
let nature takes its course ba..
but jw.. thanks ya??
your sms is very convincing..
hmm... you're actually right...
get to know each other better 1st ya?
now, we're best buddy...
hahaz..
will continue to see you during mrs ong lesson...
dun cos of gang ga den dun come for lesson..
your eng drop again, me dun treat you anymore...
hahaz..

ok..
think by now they reach europe le..
sigh..
this sat mick's going as well..
to china..
everyone's leaving..
hahaz..
but me?
na.. stay in singapore..
suffer ba..
ahhaz..
anyway cant wait for fri though..
going for theory today... so fri can stay up very late..
hahaz..
going out with jun wei and jun qin..
hhaz... both jun.. but they're not bruddas..
one is my tuition friend.. other is drama friend..
promise to treat them watch movie..
yup.. so its this fri..
hahz... going broke..
hahaz.. and i have to get my skirt too..
sat is the performance..
but i haven decided wad black top and bottom to wear..
should i wear the one that i went out with hanx?
maybe ba..
hahz... but looooks so formal.. :(
screwed..
still have lots of hols hw to do..
one of them is lit.. which i dun even know how to start..
then the most impt one, chinese, but haven started..
other than zhou ji..
haven even bought the book that we are gonna be tested on the first 2 weeks of skol reopen..
argh..
howhow???
i need more time..
wanna retain and not take O level..
but everyone will surely disagree...
hahaz... guess mick when you see this you may be disappointed..
i seriously got no idea how am i gonna fulfil the promise to get into RJC.
can you tell me how???

think by now they fly le...
he just left, but i already miss him alot..
how?? wad should i do?

time is clinking away real fast...
want the time to stop..
in like another 1 hour, you will be flying..
somehow. i wanna stop you..
but i cant..
cos i really cant do anything..
other than waiting for you to come back..
but after you go, the time will run very slowly for me le..
sigh..
by the time you're in the plane. and can no longer use the fone,
your brudda may show you something ba..
if its not awkard for the both of you..
i cant talk to you..
but sending a sms to you takes me courage now..
so i have to go thru your brudda...
gotta thanks him..
for allowing me to send such a long message..
but all from the bottom of my heart..
as i type this entry..
i feel very sad..
cant take half day leave to go to the airport to see you..
not openly though... cos i dun wan you to see me..
but its impossible now..
know you also wun be able to read this entry le..
i suddenly feel so suan and bitter...
life sure doesn't feel good without you...
but somehow you dun bother anymore..
and even though i know you're hhaving a stressful time, i can do anything...
enjoy your trip ba.. thats the only thing i can do now..
wish you from hte bottom of my heart..
even though i feel very sad, wanna cry, i cant..
you are my role model, so now i'm gonna take your advice you gave me last time..
lock my heart and swallow everything... even though i cant be sure if i can, i willdo everything to surpress my feelings..
even if it means by pushing myself to do things i dun like
or even break down...
any thing that can make me forget you, i dun mind doing...
hope you can do it when you say you wanna forget everything..
probably even me ba..
but you're always my good brudda too..
:)
when i know you and we became siblings..
i kinda treat you as my real brudda le..
until when you were very close to me and really cared for me that i fell for you..
but no one knows this until recently..
other than you...

you once asked me why i like you?
now i will give you the answer,
liking someone has no reason..
its how i feel when i'm with you..
its totally different when i'm with other guys/boys..
the feeling is very comfortable..
feel as if you're my other soul,
one that i can place my full trust without hesitating..

like wei jie has said, you're someone that has a place in my heart..
true ba..
hahz..
if i really lose you, it will be like losing my other soul..
your brudda said you're feeling equally sad?
but somehow i dun feel your sadness anymore..
just wanna tell you.. if you feel stress, take a break..
if you wanna cry or anything, you dun have to, like last time, it will be the same now,
i will always cry for you,or rather help you cry..
you used to tell me that if i cry, you'll be sad..
now you wun be sad anymore..
as for your headache, i cant really do much..
but if you're really having one, remember how i used to nag at you..
you've given me alot of memories,
think i wun be able to forget..
if wad memories i have left and you feel better forgetting it, den its up to you..
but never forget someone here always remember you..
even though we cant be together, we are always siblings..
i trust your word that you dun anihow choose your siblings. :)
will miss you till i can forget you..

you know
when i see your photos in my fone, i will just cry..
why are we lidat now?
why hurt me the day before you're leaving?
why cant we be like last time?
i really wanna talk to you and see you...
i dun wan to be stranger to you..
you understand???
no matter how hard i try, why are you so hard and harsh?
why say all those nice words to me last time?
i really wanna go back to the past..
not now.. i dun like now..
i wanna go back to the past...
will you allow me back to the past?

today idamn blur lor..
hahz... supposed to have dance at 9...
but cos of friend's wrong info...
went at 11 instead..
in the morning went for church service..
hahaz..
then kor drive me to my dance class..
thanks kor roy.
hahz.. then slack there until 12.30..
went back pasir ris..
den kor pick me up from mrt..
hahz... when i reach, there's still choir..
so i happily joined in..
and so glad next week's presentation is all black..
hahza..
hmmm... den smsed wei jie thru out the day..
anw hope er ge did well in jap test...
fast.. tue coming le..
anw thanks for telling me the truth..
dun worry i can take it..
hahaz.. but we're still siblings are we?
hahaz... take care while you're in europe..
god bless..
went to drink turtle soup in the afternoon..
i was disgusted so drank black chicken instead...
hahz..
after that went to uncle steven's house to see him..
pple who are reading, say a short prayer for uncle steven.
he's going for a heart by pass operation this wed.
may the lord be with him and protect him through this operation..
may aunty jenny and son not be so sad..
your dad's gonna be alright:)
den cos we went to see him... i missed my piano lesson..
forgotten my piano is 5 not 6..
hahaz... so in the nd.. thankfully ms wee teach me until 7..
gee,, by the time i got hom... so late..
hate it man..
hahaz.. .was on the phone with junqin just now...
quite long ya???
hahaz... hmm.. thanks for telling me zc has a new stead..
even though he denies...
hahaz...
never mind... i wun force you to speak the truth anymore...
haha... junqin.. wulala will be gone..and wun terrorise you?
hahaz... but you're gonna miss her..
hahza...
hmm... so glad i have you as a friend...
hahz.. you said you're gonna buy for me liquor on christmas...
hahaz.. ai si ni le.. :) muackx...
hahaz.. you despo?
no la... why say yourself...
dun look like..
hahaz
anyway talk to you again tonight?
tong xiao again?
fun lei..hahaz

mick... where have you been??
disappeared too?
or wad???
hahaz.. since the last 3 messages, haven heard ffrom you..
ok ya???
hahaz...
hmm... i'm slacking as usual...
hahz.. anyway when skol starts, gonna coach me in some of my subjects...
:)
hope to see you soon..
anyway next sat i got choir performance on..
come if you can... its at pasir ris.
shalom BP church... near down town east..
from 730pm..
on the 11th dec...
hope can see you then...

have i gone crazy???
hope i did..
haha
went 7-11 just now.
went to check the liquor..
dammit...
i gotta be 18 then can drink..
gee... anybody's 18???
buy for me! i wanna drink...hahaz... :)
wanna get drunk...

today sat liaox... another 3 days they will be leaving..
good for you..
forget me ba..
there's nothing nice for you to remember me..
i gotta really cool down this time..
never got so angry with someone b4..
sigh...
cant even have the last lesson b4 you leave..
forget it ba..
doubt we'll ever have lessons with eachother anymore..
later got guzheng..
forgot to practice this week...
gonna die later..
err..
still considering if i should use up the money my mom lend me
to watch movie with jun wei..
should i? or should i not..
i'm gonna spend a bomb next week..
have to really buy clothes..
for church choir presentation..
den shun bian buy so nice clothes for myself..
gosh..
since when did i become so spendtrift?
err..
uauslly i'm not even liddat..
geee.....

get out of my mind..
dun wanna think of you ever again..

anyway wei jie..
thanks alot..
for listening me blabber my angst about your brudda yesterday..
you're a good listener..
haz..
nice brudda... nice friend..
hahaz... you're also a smart person...
hahaz...

oh.. .today's royston kor's b'dae..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOR..
hahaz.. i'm going your house later to stay again..
cool... gonna have "party" tonight..
haahz...
as usual... i'm always "refuging" in your house..
"dun wanna go home"
haahz... jkjk... think we all know why right?
takecare! :)
your cousin luvs you!! :)

today dint go work...
went out in the afternoon..
to lot one..
then go ben's house..
watched pola express..

grr..
why spoil both our mood..
why don't you ever trust me?
why?
why?
why make me disappointed in you?
all the why?
grr..

was angry with kor today...
knew he was angry..
but how can that angry be compared to someone who doesn't trust you?
you really made me feel really really upset..
its okay if others don't trust me. but how can you?
you're my kor lei..
someone that i really treat as kor..
where's the trust we're supposed to have?

gee...

spent the whole afternoon walking around lot one aimlessly..
vent my anger on the shops..
sigh..
in the end spent my last allowance for the week on a swimming costume that i doubt i will use it often..
if only i had more money..
would buy more clothes...
saw so many nice ones..
but somehow they are all for ballroom thingy...
but very nice..
hahaz..
anyway i dun think i will ever have the chance to attend any ballroom dancing..
forget it..
dun wanna mention liaox..

sigh... wanna forget him now...
why???
cant seem to..
err..
"if you cant trust me like i trusted you, get out of my life..
since you wanted to forget everything..
forget about the happy days we had..
forget me ba..
easier for you."
looks like there isnt gonna be any more "leave me along for a while" anymore
siblings by name only now..
something which i dun wish it to happen...
but no choice.. if there's fate, den bring us together again ba..

since i've finished my work for the day and is just printing some christmas cards..
and making things.. shall blog..
hahaz... hahaz... today's job is damn easy.. but some how the time flies by so slowly..
hahaz... i want more challenging stuffs..
hmmm...
jun wei got back his results..
wow... you got an A2??
hahaz... looks like i really gotta treat you ....
hahaz...
fri ya??? hmmm... but how ah??? go meritus? or the place you wanna go?? dilema..
hahaz... wanted to intro you to "mummy"
hahz... cos he was surprised to know i'm treating my friend...
hahz... anw..
this morning... damn sui..
woke up damn late..
like 6 plus gonna be 7..
then found out that mum disappeared..
gee... she went out in the morn la...
err... leaving me alone again..
hahz
then me start to chiong down to work liaox..
when reach the bus stop, then i realised that i forgot to bring my ez link card..
so practically the whole day. i dun have my card..
sigh...
suddenly miss my card so much..
gee... saw jie online again..
jie..thanks a lot..
i shall see if he goes europe and i miss him not...
hahaz..
but most likely the answer will be the same when he goes off the other time
but just that i hope he wun be angry anymore by then... hahz..
guess my nick is quite "er xing" ya?
but thats wad i wanna say to him...
sigh... i type wad i feel.. since i cant tell him.. hahaz...
anyway.. dun be angry le k??? it has been for more than 2 weeks le..

miss ya~

went back to noris to work... yesterday dint went back... hahaz.. today...
at office... everythings going well...
hahaz... got caught using web messenger..
hahaz.. but uncle never scold me.. hahaz... ok.. den worked till 5 plus..
went home with yan yu..
hahz.. we stay so near each other... only a few blks away.. hahz..
gee... finally saw zhi wei online...
think he like dunno how many thousand years never been online liaox...
hahz... ok.. was quite happy though... saw mummy onine... he's working! hahaz.. :)
hahaz.. shall seee him on friday...
gee... i feel so happy... talked to jie in the morning again...
gee jie... tell me the timing for city harvest...
hahz... can i ask ben to go?
dun tell me you dun wanna seee him hor..
after cannot be bgf then be friends lor.. :)
anyway... suddenly felt like studying bio and chinese..
hahaz... did research for most of the chapter we are gonna do... hahz...
hmm... ok.. nothing much to say le...

Pls do not remove this section.

Designer: bw0kensmile-x
Image Hosting: photobucket.com
Image Hosting: imageshack.us
Image source: deviatart
Tagboard: cbox.ws.com
Music: baidu.com
Cursor: dorischu